Attention: Conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care; taking notice of others and making an effort to enter into their respective worlds. (1 Corinthians 12:25 NASB)
Attention is nourishment that keeps your marriage alive and strong. Without it your marriage joy will slowly fade away. You and your spouse should experience a growing sense of intimacy and love in your relationship based on learning to enter each others world – meet the need for attention.
When we pay attention to our spouse, it shows that we value them. When you make an effort to discover their world and enter it, you are communicating interest in what your spouse’s day was like, what they are feeling, what occupies their thoughts, what they like or dislike, etc. Paying attention says, “I care about you and I want to enter your world.” Don’t we all want/need that? God has given you someone special with whom to share your life, treat him/her as the gift he/she is!
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Attention
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12)
Walking in the Light: Having a fresh encounter with Jesus.
Matthew 8: 1-4
When Jesus came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. 2) A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” 3) Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy. 4) Then Jesus said to him, “See that you don’t tell anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the gift Moses commanded, as a testimony to them.”
I love this story, especially, because of verse 3! God touched him! This man was cast out and no one wanted to go near him – sores, ooze, smell and all. Jesus reached out and touched this man! Jesus saw behind the stench and saw His dearly loved son, His child, in pain and alone. Jesus was willing and paid this man some much needed attention. His simple act not only healed his body, but I can imagine it removed some of the lepers (or former leper’s) aloneness because prior to Jesus’ touch, no one wanted anything to do with him. Jesus entered the man’s world!
Maybe you are feeling a little alone yourself. Maybe you need some undivided attention from your heavenly Father. Would you allow God to reach out and touch you? He is willing! Will you let Him? “Be still and know that He is God.”
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a lamp and a light, so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105
Let’s do:Philippians 2:4 – “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Let’s pay attention to our spouse! Look to his/her interests. Be an active participant in your spouse’s life. Pay attention to detail.
Some examples of what this might look like:
*When you wake up in the morning, greet your spouse. Yes! You woke up together! Thank God!
*Leave each other for the day with a kiss and greet one another at the end of the day with a hug. Ask how their day was and really listen.
*Take time doing things with your spouse that she/he enjoys.
*Hold hands when watching TV together.
*Pitch in when your spouse is overwhelmed, without their asking for help.
These really are “little things”, but those little acts build up in your honey’s heart and help communicate that you are paying attention and you care!
Light Source #3: God’s people are sources of light so walk in real fellowship with Your Spouse: “the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14
Perhaps a good place to start is to list some of the things you know your spouse enjoys and ask to enter their world or invite them to enter yours.
Will you work at being a true friend to your spouse and purposefully enter their world? It may not be something natural for you or you may be stressed with work or small children, sickness, etc… but that’s OK. Work at it little by little until it becomes your normal way.
Just a word of caution: YOU want to be the one giving your spouse attention not leaving that privilege to someone else. We all need attention. Let’s be the giver of attention to our spouse and build a super sweet friendship together!