We are thrilled to introduce you to another TBI Encourager Couple! (Their real names have been changed) We are so thankful for these volunteer couples. They have trained with Dave Lewis, been approved by TBI’s Board, and have loving, servant hearts! Our Encourager Couples occasionally serve other couples and churches through The Basic Idea Ministries. These couples have the responsibility and privilege of mentoring couples in need of help and encouragement, thus the name Encourager Couple. They also equip others to do what they do so that the influence of Christ’s love continues to grow.
At Leah and Mike’s wedding, the Lewis’s were privileged to attend and meet Mike for the first time. They knew Leah before through Leah’s parents. Leah and Mike requested some help making sure they got the direction they wanted and needed to make their new marriage a joyful one. By God’s grace, now it is!
When Dave discovered they wanted to go through IE, he and Carol asked God to guide them to the best Encourager Couple to fit the needs they had. God answered those prayers! Now Leah and Mike are an Encourager Couple after meeting for several months with the couple to whom God directed them . Enjoy their story as they tell us how Intimate Encounters had an impact on their marriage.
Mike and I met at a party to which a mutual friend invited us. She disguised the party telling us that it was to celebrate her birthday. Later, she confessed that she only did it so that we, Mike and Leah, could meet. Our first attraction was that we made each other laugh and could talk for hours about anything.
We met, married, and started our new life together. When we first encountered Intimate Encounters our relationship had been tested. I found out about a past issue, accidentally, and I had lost trust in my husband and was deeply hurt. Due to the sensitivity in what I found out, I was not sure how to move forward in the marriage and how to truly forgive him.
We needed a change…. I needed to learn how to truly forgive and trust in order to move forward. I needed Mike to understand the impact and desire to repair and move forward. Mike desired to understand my needs and how to meet them. He had superimposed his need on top of mine so he was trying to meet the wrong set of needs entirely.
We had some struggles in the process of engaging the relational principles and each other as we worked through Intimate Encounters. I struggled with talking about it, trusting again and not being so mad and angry. Mike struggled with my anger. He worried we would not break bad habits of communicating.
We both feel that chapters 4, 9 and 13 of Intimate Encounters had the greatest impact for us. 4 (Heal Hurts Through Confession and Forgiveness), 9 (Be Free From Marital Games) and 13 (Break Free From Unhealthy Thinking)
We continue to stay engaged with Intimate Encounters. Currently we are apprenticing with another Encourager Couple, as we help another couple go through Intimate Encounters.
We also refer back to the principles of the book as part of our daily life.
My parents are long time Intimate Encounter leaders, so we get together with them to talk through issues and I.E. principles.
Our vision for the future would be to start out leading a couple through the I.E book/ministry. Also we’d like to go to a couple of retreats that Dave leads in order to gain more experience. We see ourselves preferring to start a group after we are finished co-leading with one of TBI’s Encourager Couples. It would be great to attend a couple of retreats between now and then and start back in late summer of 2018.
I, (Linda) find it pretty interesting as couples go through Intimate Encounters how their marriages are changed, healed. Some of these couples go on to become mentors, leaders, facilitators and Encourager Couples using Intimate Encounters. What I find incredible is our Encourager Couples. They have all started out as learners of I.E. They desired to have a better marriage, learn new ways to have authentic communication with their spouses, have healing. I don’t believe they thought that one day they would be leading other couples to do the same. What is even better is that as they lead others…they continue to grow in their own relationships with their spouse. I love that God keeps the circles flowing!
Intimate Encounters is not your ordinary study that you finish and then tuck away on the bookshelf. No, this study gives you relational tools that you can use not only in your marriage but with your kids, at work and with your neighbors. We all have relational needs, and we all desire to be known and loved. Only intimacy replaces the aloneness each of us experiences.
TBI is so blessed to see God work through our wonderful Encourager Couples in their own marriages and others they mentor. We ask that you would keep them and us in your prayers.