Security (Peace): Establishing and maintaining harmony in our relationships and providing freedom from fear or threat of harm through expressions of vulnerability, deepening of trust, and the successful resolution of conflict. (Romans 12:16,18)
“Daaaaadddddyyyyy!” You hear your child yelling in the middle of the night! “Can you turn on the light, Daddy? There is a monster under my bed!” Your child looks to you for their security. They trust you. They believe what you tell them. A big responsibility, isn’t it?
We are our kids first builder of security in this world. From the moment they enter this world they depend on us to meet their needs, to calm and comfort their fears, and to be the one upon whom they can depend to be there for them.
Security is a big deal for school age and even adult children. Sometimes school or the work place is not a place of safety and peace. Are you there for your child, your teen, your adult child? You are the “Jesus with skin on” who can provide a real, lasting sense of security.
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Security
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12)
Walking in the Light: Having a fresh encounter with Jesus.
Jesus often retreated to spend time with His Father. Do you think He looked to the Father for security during His time in the garden before His death? If Jesus could seek security with God, do you think that same security can be for you?
Often when we pray, we seek answers, peace, healing. In a sense, we seek security. God is truly The One who can give us the deepest sense of security because He is the One in ultimate control of your life. Do you trust Him? Do you feel secure in His care and love for you?
Jesus told His disciples that “I will never leave you or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5; Matthew 28:20) Even after His ascension into heaven, Jesus let His disciples (then and now) know that He remains accessible through the Holy Spirit who lives in us. Let’s be accessible to our children.
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a lamp and a light, so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105
Let’s do:
Psalm 62:1-2
My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
We love because He first loved us. In God alone we have security of our salvation. God promises us that.
He is our source of peace. No matter what this life brings, we can go to the Father and trust Him to care for us.
Let us be the best earthy security for our children. Can your kids trust you to care for them no matter what? Can they feel secure when in your presence?
God’s powerful love and intimate knowledge of us demonstrates how a secure relationship can look. Will you follow Him as the example and lead your children well?
Light Source #3: God’s people are sources of light so walk in real fellowship with our children: “the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14
After you have spent time thinking long and deeply on Light Sources #1 and #2 above, will you take a few minutes to think about how your child depends on you and if you think your child feels secure with you? In other words, does your child come to you? Do they seek your help and advice no matter their age? That is one way to gauge if they feel security with/from you. Another way to understand their trust or lack of it is to ask, “Does my child feel safe, protected, and at peace around me?”
If you answered “yes”, keep up the good work!! If you answered “no” or “hardly ever”, then please address that. How?
Ask your child/adult child how you can do a better job at their feeling safe and at peace around you.
- You can start by being vulnerable with your child, as age appropriate, and share that you desire for them to know that they can come to you with absolutely anything and that you will always do your best to help them.
- You may also ask them if they would share times that they needed you, and they didn’t receive that security from you. Then ask for forgiveness.
- You may ask your spouse how they see your responses to your children. Are you too loud or too preachy? Do you listen well and make good eye contact? Do you touch your children appropriately and tell them how much they mean to you?
This kind of conversation is the exact type of conversation that builds security between a parent and child, actually in any relationship. By sharing your heart and being vulnerable about your shortcomings, seeking forgiveness, listening well, and asking children questions that are geared to more than a one word answer, you can build a sense of deep security together.