Our Family’s Heritage: Church’s Legacy and Family’s Legacy Connected! Yes? No?
My life among church leadership and my position of leadership in my own family reveal connections I didn’t understand earlier in life. Along these last few decades some of those connections have come into focus. One of those is the existence of “golden opportunities”. Another is the importance of “authenticity among leaders”. Still another is the necessity of “equipping saints for the works of service”. The question that stalks my mind and has for years is this one: “Which family is more responsible to fulfill its destiny and purpose: the nuclear family or the church family”?
#1: Golden Opportunities – Carol and I have been in several really great and influential churches in our 51 years of marriage. Though not all the same denomination, in 2 or 3 of these churches the congregation approached authentic revival only to draw back or be blocked due to in-fighting, fear of the future, insecure leadership, or lack of faith to trust God for the future as we embarked into new territory. These opportunities exist in churches as well as in families. I know much more could be said but not here yet.
#2: Authenticity Among Leaders: I am not saying they were not sincere. I am saying some key leaders failed to speak the truth in love regarding the cultural pitfalls of our day. In an attempt to be “relevant” we lost our way because we were unwilling to trust God and speak the truth about controversial topics in favor of being silent on them or even coming out supporting the culture when the Bible is clear on the issues. I am speaking about abortion, immorality particularly regarding pre-marital sex and same gender sex. Authenticity is key in our families and in our churches.
#3: Equipping the Saints for Works of Service: In too many of these places where we approached golden opportunities, the lack of strong leadership development was obvious. I heard “we need more mentors and don’t have time to develop them”. I rejected that idea then and still do. Included within equipping saints is not only the very important rational teaching of doctrine but also the experiential mentoring of loving relationships. With these two components in disciple-making, a more fully trained Christ-follower can be engaged in ministry where authenticity is seen both in their church and in their family. Especially as parents, we need to be strong, clear, and loving for our children as they face cultural battles.
Without this type of disciple equipping either the disciple produced is far too clinical without being good at the relational side, or they are too concerned about the feelings of others while being unwilling to stand for the truth. God’s Word clearly lets us know that we are to grow up into Christ and “speak the truth in love”. We can and should speak the truth about abortion, same sex marriages, same gender sex, addictive behaviors, pre-marital sex, etc; and we can do so with love in our hearts. We know that telling others about God’s way of loving and living may be interpreted as judgmental or condemning (“hate speech”), but we can at least offer to help people find that – in Christ – truth and love are not mutually exclusive. They can and must co-exist as the Holy Spirit shows God’s love to and through us and keeps us adhering to the clearly revealed truth. God knows what He is doing.
Perhaps the biggest obstacle to our being able and willing to speak the truth in love is fear. What will others think? What feelings will be evoked if we tell the truth? Better questions should be asked and answered:
- What if I don’t tell the truth to the people where it is needed? What if I don’t warn them of the pitfalls ahead that can and should be avoided by choosing God’s truth?
- What if I speak truth in a condemning way and don’t have God’s love for those to whom I am speaking truth? Though I can’t control how others respond to the truth, I can control the motive of my own heart. How can I make sure that when I “speak truth in love”, that I am truly loving those I am hoping to rescue?
Finally, the church is a group of families (singles and marrieds), and being able to speak the truth in love at home will translate into the church and eventually into the culture. I wish the whole world could all get this right at the same time. If God does it that way, that would be wonderful! Until then, I have the privilege and responsibility to live and speak the truth in love in my own life and in my own home! Join me?
The bridges of culture over which millions travel in life are founded on the pillars of the family and the church. How we live at home and how we serve our God are both crucial to the strength, stability, and endurance of the nation we are building.