Appreciation: Expressing thanks, praise or commendation, particularly in recognition of someone’s accomplishments or efforts. Gratefully acknowledging what someone “does” (Colossians 3:15b, 1 Corinthians 11:2)
Have you ever noticed the “stature” of your spouse after you’ve just given her/him a compliment, some praise for a job well-done, or even for a great effort? You can see it in his/her countenance, can’t you? They get all happy and actually appear to float on the words…kinda’ like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day balloon. You, my friend, just filled up their love tank and met their need for appreciation!
Now, I am not talking about turning our spouse into an approval junkie. I am talking about genuine praise and expressed gratitude. Isn’t it nice, even for yourself, to hear a “Thank you” or “I appreciate all you do for our family”? Appreciation does something within your spirit that makes you feel you matter to your family. Someone noticed you!.
Are you uncomfortable when others let you know they appreciate you? I think for some it can make them feel a bit embarrassed. You have a hard time accepting it and want to diminish the attention. May I ask you to think about WHY that makes you feel the way you do? Maybe growing up you were just “expected” to do things and never received praise or appreciation? Let’s see how Jesus appreciates us, shall we?
Jesus – The Light of the World
(Jesus Meets Our Need For Appreciation)
I am sure it is safe to say that God cares for and appreciates you! Think about how He cares for you. Think about His love for you. Think about the person, yes – you, He himself created! He is your Father!
Do you think Jesus would call you His friend if He didn’t appreciate the person you are? (John 15:12-15) Think about this in your own world of friends, include your spouse too. If your friend/spouse constantly took you for granted, what would happen within you over time? Would you want to be around that person? Would you feel angry, hurt, unappreciated? Now tell me, does that line up with God’s character? God created you and appreciates all you are and the great potential of your life.
Would you tell God all you appreciate about your relationship with Him? I am positive He would love to hear it! Then ask Him to give you eyes to see and words of appreciation to speak to your spouse.
His Word – A lamp and a Light
Let’s do:Phillipians 4:8: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
If you try to think of all that is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent and worthy about your spouse wouldn’t that give you a more positive, loving view of them? Do you think that would begin to fill your heart with appreciation and love towards them?
There are times when I am going through difficult circumstances that I make myself sit down and write out 5 things I am thankful for at the end of each day. Especially in times of difficulty it is easy to shift our eyes on our circumstances, but I ask you to lift your eyes up! By forcing your mind – I say forcing because sometimes you have to make yourself do it – to think on all of the Phillipians 4:8 things in your life, your heart turns to appreciation.
You can also do this with your spouse as you leave notes in places they’ll find or perhaps you could randomly text / call words that fit Phillipians 4:8 and apply to your spouse!
You And I Are “The Light of the World” – Jesus Said So.
Do you have the “character of appreciation” within you?
Ask yourself these questions:
- Do I exhibit appreciation towards my spouse/others daily?
- Do I value my spouse/others, taking the focus off myself, to uplift her/him?
- Does pride get in the way of showing appreciation to my spouse?
In light of your personal answers, how can you improve your character of appreciation? What ways can you show appreciation for your spouse for something she/he does in your home and for which you’ve never shared your appreciation? Take notice!
I think we feel at times that what we do in our home, for our family, at work, etc…is just “what we do”. But what would happen if you didn’t do “what you normally do?” Would it change your family/work/personal life? Of course it would, because you have a purpose in this life! God uses you daily! God uses your spouse as well! Make it a point to tell her/him that their purpose in life matters to you a whole lot!