Respect
Valuing one another highly, treating one another as important, and honoring one another with our words and actions.
Romans 12:101 Peter 2:17
A Worthy Goal:
(a little “Truth in Love” from TBI)
Don’t stop investing wisely into your marriage and family until your children and friends envy your relationship and want what you have…. “faith expressing itself in love” – Galatians 5:6.
The men reading this might be really glad we’re going to talk about one of the things that’s high on their priority-needs list. Or they may be thinking, “Respect… again?” Haven’t we been over this enough?” ” As a woman reading this, you might be thinking, “Great. Can we skip this week? I really need Support right now… Not another lecture on how my husband needs to be respected.” Whatever perspective you bring to this week’s discussion, let’s take a step back and see if we can learn something new about our spouse, our children, and maybe about ourselves, as we talk about meeting the need for Respect.
Have a great week!
Sincerely, Dave Lewis The Basic Idea Helping Leaders Live Loved and Give Love Freely….Starting at Home!
Set aside a few minutes this week or plan a date night to discuss RESPECT.
Husband, would you lead this time? Please be prepared to lead by reviewing the questions below. When ready, please initiate a “LOVE (Speak)” time.
LOVE (SPEAK) Light Source #1: Fresh Encounter with Jesus Christ
“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Jesus honored, valued men and women and Paul carried on this teaching as clearly revealed in Galatians 3:28. Do you believe Jesus valued those whom He served and loved while on earth? Do you believe He, Who is the same “yesterday, today, and forever” still values people today? Do you believe you are respected and valued by Him?
In many of our human relationships, value is assigned to people due to their beauty, their brains, their bucks, or their accomplishments. What if Jesus values you and His relationship with you just because “you are” rather than based on where you fit in the continuum of performance or possessions or power-brokers? Would you – in a time alone – ask Him how He feels about you and whether He values your life? You are neither “less than” nor “greater than” but you are simply loved, cherished, and valued because you are you. That is enough.
Reading Psalm 139 may help clarify His view of you.
Light Source #2: Frequent Experiences in the Word (Do The Book)
Let’s Do: Romans 12:10
v.10: Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor;
1. Think of one or two ways you’ve noticed your spouse respond or show that he/she feels respected by others. If you can’t think of ways, please ask: “_________(Spouse’s name), at work or around the house, what are ways that others help you feel valued and respected?”
2. In what circumstances and situations do you feel respected? …. Disrespected?
3. What can your spouse do to help you feel valued, highly regarded, or of great worth to him/her?
Light Source #3: Other Jesus Followers – Have Real Fellowship with Your Spouse
Have some time with your spouse over coffee, tea, a meal, on the porch, or in the car: Please discuss the answers to all 5 questions as time allows.
4. Did you feel respected and valued in your home as you grew up through your childhood and teen years? Describe how respect was or was not shown. How do you feel your children (if you have them) would rate you on how well you, as a couple, respect each other? If you do not have children, how would those who most closely observe your marriage rate your level of respecting your spouse?
5. How did your parents respect or disrespect each other? …. Their parents/your grandparents? Which of these methods do you want to make sure you duplicate and build upon for a healthy way to respect your spouse? What parts do you want to make sure you avoid, replacing them with healthier ways of giving and receiving respect?
Now — What About the Kids? “Ask – Listen – Respond”
1. Rather than try to discover tons of options to demonstrate respect for your Child of Focus, perhaps we can simply work at listening better. How often throughout the day do you take some time to listen to your child(ren)? Look him/her in the eyes, ask a question or begin listening well to what is being said without the question. Respond with Doing the Book: Romans 12:15 a or b: “Rejoice with those who do rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.” You will probably be surprised to see a significant change over the weeks as you meet the need for Respect and really engage in conversations.
2. Taking time to be with each child without others around may be a bit scary at times, but this one-on-one time may be the best medicine for a child who feels under-valued or disrespected. Let’s try it.
Encouragement—It’s in the Book!!
Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.
1 Peter 2:17 Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.