Respect: Valuing one another highly, treating one another as important, and honoring one another with our words and actions. (Romans 12:10, 1 Peter 2;17)
My husband and I moved south from the northeastern part of the U.S. in 2003. I began working in a preschool. One thing I noticed that was very different from where we had lived formerly was the kids were being taught by their parents to say “yes or no ma’am/sir,” when they spoke to an adult. I was not used to that, and honestly had to force myself to remember to teach this in my classroom too. I remember thinking it was pretty cool to teach this way of respect. I picked up the habit myself! 😉
This week we will focus on showing and teaching respect to our children. I am going to sound old here, but back in the day…we had respect and honestly a little bit of healthy (or not) fear for those in authority over us. Somehow, respect for those in authority seems to have been lost or at least hidden from view.
Can it be that we have moved away from teaching and practicing this kind of respect in our homes? Maybe we have forgotten to not only exemplify respect for our children but to teach them “how” to respect those in authority over them. Maybe we have forgotten that our kids need to be respected too? What do you say we spend a little time thinking about and practicing respect for our children and how to help them show respect to others?
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Respect
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12) Walking in the Light: Having a fresh encounter with Jesus. (Respect)
Walking in the light of a fresh encounter with Jesus involves coming close to Him and knowing Him in ways that help you see that Jesus values and respects you.
In Luke 18:15-17 the disciples were trying to keep the children away from bothering Jesus but Jesus invited them to come to Him! He adored them! The disciples looked at the children as a bother, but Jesus saw them as wonderful! In fact he said, “Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.” Jesus thought so much of these kids that He said we should be like them, (have their open, trusting hearts!)
Do you suppose that meant that Jesus respected children? I believe by inviting them to come Jesus showed children that they mattered to Him, they had value, He thought they were important…He respected them!
My question for you is this: Do you believe Jesus values you, respects your life, and wishes to honor you. God may bring honor to you through another person, but He may choose to give you respect / honor Himself. Have you, as did the little children we read about in Luke 18, “come to Him”? Have you been still enough before Him to hear His voice telling you what He thinks about you? In a similar way to those little children who came to Jesus, you are a “little child” to God.
Those children who came to Jesus were smaller, less experienced, limited in their knowledge of life, naive regarding the truth about who Jesus really is, but they came with love, respect, and faith into Jesus’ presence. He loved, respected, and showed faithfulness to them. Come to Jesus now in the quiet of worship and solitude. Look at His face and see how much He values you, loves you, wants you to be near Him. You are respected, friend, by the God of the universe because you belong to Him, trust His Son, value what He values even in your/ our immaturity, naivety, lack of strength, and poverty – compared to Who He is and What He Owns. But He invites you to come. Jesus invited this way, “Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest…”
Don’t forget that walking in the light of a fresh encounter with Jesus is not just learning about Him and what He has done, but it is more about knowing how much He cares about and values / respects you.
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a lamp and a light, so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105
Let’s do: Eph. 4: 1-3 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
I was sitting in an airport and a family – husband, wife and two teens – were sitting in front of me. The mom dropped the daughter’s cell phone on the floor by accident and the daughter let her mother have it…verbally! The daughter was closest to the phone and could have easily picked it up, but she belittled her mother loudly to “pick it up!” I sat there in disbelief that the daughter could ever talk to her mother like that, and that the husband/dad let it happen! In fact, the father didn’t even bat an eye, like it was normal! This was probably not the first time this family had been in such a challenging situation. More than likely, it has been a progression that if stopped when the teen was younger, wouldn’t have progressed to the level of extreme disrespect. I felt embarrassed for the mom, and honestly I wanted to teach that young lady a respect lesson!
I wonder if this happens as a slow fade? When we allow our children to dictate (order adults around ) what they want and when they want it, then the situations escalate to the airport-sized, blatant level. When we allow them to tell us “loudly” what they feel about thing, they are not being taught how to share their needs respectfully.
As Mom and Dad, will you be Eph. 4: 1-3 for your children? Show them “how” by example to be humble, gentle, patient, and respectful with you, their siblings, those in authority over them. The best way to “BE” an example is to live this kind of life, treating your children humbly, gently, patiently and respectfully. Your treatment of them – good or bad -rubs off on how they treat others – good or bad. (I know that may “ouch” a bit.)
So, let’s DO Ephesians 4:1-3 and walk in the light of God’s truth.
Let’s remember our kids need for respect then value them highly as Jesus values us.
Light Source #3: God’s people are sources of light so walk in real fellowship with your children: “the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14
When I think about walking in fellowship with my children I think of leading them by example in ways of the Lord. My goal as a parent is to be a close example of Christ to them as best as I can and to always point them heavenward.
Don’t forget that you and your spouse can build fellowship with one another as you present a loving, united front to your children and show respect for one another as perhaps the best teaching example ever!!!
Having fellowship with my children probably will involve listening to them, taking time to engage in loving conversations versus waiting to try to correct them when tensions are high. A little heart-connection in the times of peace goes a long way toward helping a child feel that his/her words, opinions, time, and things really matter.
Conversations may center around the following: To value others above themselves. To value what is important to others even if it is not important to me. To watch what I say and to remember to be respectful when speaking. To respect those in authority over me. To show others that they are valued and important. How much listening helps convey respect How giving a proper response versus “no response/ignoring them” or returning a “$5 response for a nickel event”
How do I exemplify this to my children? Show my children that they matter to me…what they say and what they do. Listen to my children when they want to tell me something. Enter their world to what is important to them. Be careful in my word response to them and show interest in what they are saying. Treat those in authority over me respectfully. (Handshake, demeanor towards them, my words)
Your kids will have the opportunity to highly respect others if respect was exemplified to them by the one closest to them…YOU!