Confession: Open acknowledgement of wrongs committed, based on inner convictions. (James 5:16)
Saying the same thing that God says about the sins we have committed – to God, to self, and to others.
Have you ever had someone tell you, “I’m sorry”, but you felt that they were really NOT sorry? This kind of “I’m sorry” could be “I am sorry I got caught” or “I am sorry you have a problem with this!” This is not an apology! An apology is made when we confess by saying something more like, “I was wrong.”
Being wrong and sorry can have two very different meanings, right?
When a child does something wrong, what do we typically tell the child to do? “Johnny, say I’m sorry.” Does the child really know what he/she is apologizing for? What if we teach children to confess AND ask for forgiveness? Try: “Johnny, what did you do that was wrong? (If the child is too young to understand how right and wrong differ please use these occasions to kindly explain.) Perhaps you can take the time to explain “Why was it wrong”. Example: “Please tell your sister you were wrong to take her toy or call her names. Now, ask her to please forgive you.” This teaches a child to take responsibility for his/her wrong doings and to confess what he/she did that was wrong.
Confession is an acknowledgement, “I did something wrong.” Confession requires us to go to the person we wronged and ask for forgiveness. This type of confession has a very different emotional impact than simply saying “I am sorry.” Our Heavenly Father looks at our heart, doesn’t He? He knows what takes place within our spirit when we confess our wrongs versus simply saying “I’m sorry”.
When we regularly confess to God and one another, we keep our line of communication clear and open. If you are wrong, own it and confess it. Don’t try to make excuses for the wrong or try to justify it. Your relationships will be better because of it.
Above we suggested to teach your children about confession. Do you want to know the best way for your child to learn about confession? You guessed it! Confess to your child if you acted in an inappropriate way towards them. We all “lose our cool”, but it is even “cooler” if we confess our wrong behavior to our child and ask them for forgiveness.
This act – confession – teaches two things.
#1 You are leading by example by taking ownership of your wrongs.
#2 Your child will see that people are not perfect. We all fall short, but what we do when we fall short is one of the greatest life lessons we can demonstrate.