Acceptance: Receiving others willingly and unconditionally (even when their behavior has been imperfect) and loving them in spite of any differences that may exist between you. (Romans 15:7)
Have you ever been in a place in your relationship when it was just hard? I mean, you don’t even want to be near your spouse or loved one. You don’t want to talk, and you just feel emotionally exhausted. I think most can say “YES!” It is so hard, isn’t it? So how do you move from that place? Acceptance!
My husband and I watched a young, newly-married couple, whom we love like family, struggle with this very scenario. They came and sat on our couch, at first on separate couches, until we asked them to sit together. They couldn’t even look at one another while they shared their pain.
As we talked, listened, and shared, both of them needed to come to a place of acceptance. We asked them if they were willing to remember their covenant with one another in spite of their circumstances?
At times, we need to fight like crazy for our relationships. It is in those times we need to remind ourselves that we all fall short. We may not like the circumstances that surround our relationship at the moment, but are we willing to fight for it?
We do that by accepting the whole person, the good, bad and the ugly! We come together and pray and ask God to direct the path for us and to heal our hurts. We remember that God brought the relationship together. We trust, when it means we may get hurt again. We continue to love unconditionally by choosing to do so. No one ever said it would be easy, friends.
My husband and I shared with this couple our early years of marriage. I am so thankful we stuck it out! We worked through times that we thought we would collapse under. We pushed forward. We prayed. We cried, we yelled, we did whatever we needed to do to hold on to another day. Now, we are married 37 years, and we are best friends! If we would have ditched one another at year 2,3,4,5…… we would not have all we have today!
Acceptance can be hard, but it is also God’s way of loving us. God shines His grace on me everyday, minute by minute. Aren’t we supposed to reflect the way God loves us to others?
I titled this 52 week plan….” Take My Hand” because during our conversation with this couple, the husband reached out his hand, and the wife didn’t want to take it. We asked her to please take his hand. Just that small gesture said, “I love you, I accept you, I am willing to fight for you.”
1.How do we have the love we need to move to a place of acceptance? We must spend time with Jesus. He loves us and wants us to know it. He gives love and wants us to give it away. We can. By his grace we must, and we will.
2.Do the book! In the book of James we were told to be doers of the word and not hearers only. Let’s be doers of the word and not just hearers of the word. John 13:34- 35 makes it clear. Jesus gave us a new command that we are to love one another as he loves us. Let’s do that by giving away the love you gave to us.
3.Have real fellowship with your spouse regularly, and I mean regularly. Pray. Pray silently. Pray when they’re not looking. Pray when they’re asleep. Pray before you leave in the morning. Pray before you go to bed at night. I think you get the idea. If you’re not a “good prayer”, praying silently is just fine, but let your spouse know that you pray for him/her. Or have some type of devotional in the Bible or in a devotional book together regularly. Whichever of you is the least likely to initiate this time together, do it. Do it for Jesus’s sake. Do it for your sake. Do it for your kids’ sake. Do it for the next generation. Do it for a godly model of what marriage is supposed to be. It may not be perfect, but God can use you powerfully to impact the next generation. Linda’s story above is a clear illustration of what it means to persevere in acceptance.