Talk About Real Fun? OK, Let’s Do!
I have the privilege of getting to know couples and also developing friendships (mentoring relationships, actually) with other men. Sometimes I discover they are a mess, and then sometimes they discover that I am. These are “mutual mentoring” relationships.
I am much older than most of these guys, but they seem to be OK around an old guy…me. One young man told me and Carol at the beginning or our relationship with him and his wife that they liked hanging out with old people, and I wasn’t as old then as I am now; but we fit the old people label even then! 🙂
In a meeting with two of “youngsters” (30 something’s) at different times today, I realized the theme of this article. Both conversations had serious moments, light-heartedness, personal revelations, exposure of pain in some relationships, hope in some areas of life (vocation and family), and simply good times. As I sat to write this piece and the theme came clear, I recalled how each of our definitions of “fun” has changed over the years.
For each of us men fun used to be related to a sinful or questionable activity. Fun was defined by what substances we were ingesting, images we were viewing, or people we were engaged with as we had our “fun”. But those “good times” were short-lived and are no longer a part of our repertoire of meaningful or fun ways to spend time. We consider them wastes of time now, though at times we struggle with the temptations.
OK, don’t “get your dander up” (that means don’t get mad at me or us). We are not looking down our noses in saying “we would never do that again”. We simply don’t want to do those things again. They are not fun anymore since our perspective has been changed by coming to faith in Jesus Christ and repenting of sin then receiving forgiveness. Jesus Christ actually died on the cross to pay for the debt some of those old “fun” things created before our holy God. Our sin-debt – if left unpaid or if the payment Jesus did for us on the cross is not received – will keep us separated from God through eternity and heaven won’t be our eternal home. Hell will.
Now we have a new and different kind of fun. We have real, meaningful and at the same time more enjoyable fun. There is no hangover, guilt, or relationship mess to clean up after we experience this new fun. This fun I am talking about it based on being with, sharing time and events, and truly enjoying some of the same activities or environments we used to engage while doing the old non-fun stuff. (Non-fun now; it was fun to us then). We still enjoy the outdoors – hiking, biking, kayaking, playing sports, camping, etc. We have fun in new ways.
The “new men” we’ve become have discovered that truly loving God and others doesn’t involve using them for our pleasure visually or literally; nor does it mean we have to involve chemicals to drink, smoke, or inject in order to truly have fun. We have new fun, real fun while totally conscious that we are having it. We can even remember it when we are finished with the fun. We laugh, sing, talk, listen, and at times even worship, pray, served, and enjoy God together.
As a married man, I can tell you and them (as I have done before), that marriage in a growing relationship with God and with my spouse/family is more fun now than ever. Doing life with people you like, love, and who – most of the time – are showing love back to you is real fun. It is real. It is fun. It is real fun!
The picture above is prophetic. I am not a great fisherman, but later this summer we have been blessed by friends of ours with a fishing trip together with them for a week in Canada. Woohoo! I am looking forward as much for time to be with Carol and our friends as much as I am actually fishing. Well, OK, I am looking forward to having fun eating those fish too!