Approval (Blessing): Building up or affirming another person, particularly for who they are (as opposed to what they do); affirming both the fact and the importance of our relationship with another person.( Ephesians 4:29; Mark 1:11)
Giving approval to our kids is not the same as giving them appreciation. Appreciation is praise, thanks, or reward given for a task they do or attempt to do. We may say, “Thanks for taking out the trash or I appreciate your working so hard on your homework.” Approval on the other hand is affirming who they are and how important they are to you. Approval can be communicated simply and should be done often. We might say, “As I was thinking about you today, I realized how happy you make me just because you are my son/daughter. I am glad God let me be your mom/dad/grandparent.”
No matter how old your kids are, your approval of them will always matter. In the life of almost every child – even us older children, the parent holds the greatest potential for influence- for good or for bad. Let’s see how to use ours more wisely than ever.
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Support
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12)
Walking in the Light: Having a fresh encounter with Jesus.
You may recall that Jesus met the need for approval in others while here on earth. On one occasion He said to a mother and at another time to a soldier, “I have not seen such great faith in all of Israel”. Jesus approved of their deep and obvious faith. It amazed Him. He valued and was bolstered by them, and He told them so. His disciples heard him say it and probably were not on the same page with Jesus. To them, the soldier and the persistent woman may have just been a bother or an “undesirable”.
Would you accept right now in prayer God’s approval of you, not based on what you do or have done or have not done, but simply on the value He places on a relationship with you. You are the most expensive gift He ever purchased. He must know we are very important to His forever family.
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a lamp and a light, so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105
Let’s do:
John 3:16 For God so loved the world,that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
Let’s teach our kids the full approval they have from our Heavenly Father! When our kids struggle with wanting approval, (the unhealthy kind) to feel they matter, remind them that they matter so much to God that His Son died for them and did it before they were even born!
We as adults know that the evil one whispers in our ear, “you are not worthy, you don’t measure up” etc., but do you realize he is just as hard at work whispering his lies to our children? We need to remind them often of the Truth.
Mom/Dad, be the louder, more persistent, loving voice!
Light Source #3: God’s people are sources of light so walk in real fellowship with Your Kids: “the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14
How about taking some time with your spouse, parent, or another friend to ask and answer the following questions:
- How was approval shown to you during your “growing up” years?
- Who told you that you mattered to them, to the family, to God?
- How are you doing at communicating approval to your children?
- Would you talk about simple, practical ways to do approval in your home?
Note that if you don’t have kids at home or don’t have children at all, you may find that God would bring other children around you to let you communicate their value to you and to God. Perhaps your church is a place to look and serve.