Security(Peace):
Establishing and maintaining harmony in our relationships and providing freedom from fear or threat of harm through expressions of vulnerability, deepening of trust, and the successful resolution of conflict. (Romans 12:16,18)
There are different types of security: spiritual security, home security, financial security, sense of security in your home, security in your personal life and surroundings. Though security comes in many forms, we all have a need for it in some form or fashion. Believers and non-believers – in our neighborhoods, churches, workplaces, and those we meet casually along the way are in need of security in life. In what ways does God want to build security into our lives? What part can we personally play in meeting others need for security?
Let’s discover the answers to these questions.
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Security
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12) Walking in the Light: Having a fresh encounter with Jesus.
When Jesus met new people, as we get to read about it in the scripture, how did He help them feel secure or try to meet that need for security in them? They may or may not have “gotten it”, but Jesus loved (loves) people so much that He invested in building a bridge to the hearts of those he met. He wanted intimate relationships not walls of separation.
Consider how insecure the “woman at the well” must have been. (John 4) She had a checkered past – apparently, had come to the well alone in the heat of the day, and had such a reputation that when she went back to town to tell folks about Jesus- she went only to the men (according to some translations). That speaks volumes. While Jesus spoke to her, he built a bridge to her. She could choose to cross it or not, but He initiated because she probably would not have taken the initiative herself. Jesus risked rejection to start a conversation. Jesus asked her for assistance when most men only wanted her to give to them. Jesus spoke respectfully, truthfully, and caringly with her.
She left Him, as a changed woman, to go into town to tell what she’d seen and heard. That is security, friend. What a transformation this conversation sparked!
Does Jesus meet the need for security only in women in the first century? Has He met the need for security in you? When have you been insecure and God helped you overcome it, took you from fear to faith, anxiety to security, aloneness to a connection to His heart?
When my (Dave’s) father died years ago, I remember how alone, insecure, and fearful I felt, because he had been the rock of our family in many ways. Though he was not much of a talker or initiator of emotional connection, my dad was a hard worker, a faithful husband and father, a good provider, and a repairer of all things household and automotive. He helped us feel secure and safe in those ways. At his funeral I remember feeling pretty lonely and needy of reassurance. My heavenly Father spoke to my lonely, fearful heart and reassured me of His presence, His strength, and of the gift my earthly dad had been. Gratitude began to replace my anxiety, and a corner was turned.
God cares for us! He has given us His Holy Spirit, as well as the gift of others, to help us feel more secure by removing aloneness. What an awesome God!!
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a lamp and a light, so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105
Let’s do: Colossians 4: 5-6 Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
This passage speaks volumes of how God may use you to help meet the need for security in others – believers and otherwise, inside or outside your family. By speaking caring words to those we meet (whether or not we know them well), we will hopefully allow them to feel that they matter. For example: My, (Linda) husband is very good at making strangers feel like they matter. He is a natural at it, unlike me. Whenever we go to the grocery check out line for instance, he interacts with the cashiers beyond the normal, “hey, how are you?” He jokes with them, makes them laugh, asks them how their day is going. I believe the reason why those same cashiers remember him the next time is because he treated them kindly. He used that brief time at checkout to communicate that they were important and he “noticed” them.
This type of interaction with those we meet is a great insecurity remover, a bridge builder! In fact one of the things that attracted me to my husband was that I felt important to him. I was very shy and insecure and introverted, when I met him. Every time we interacted before we dated I left feeling less insecure because he “noticed” me, something that took me by surprise in a wonderfully good way.
So friends..Let’s be wise in the way we act towards one another and make the most of every opportunity God gives us!
Think about times in your personal life that your need for security was the highest. How did God meet that need through others? How might He use you to meet that need for those you know well and those you don’t?
Maybe you felt a little insecure (or a lot) when you started attending a new church, moved into a new neighborhood, started a new job, got married, lost a job, got “downsized”, started a business, or had another child. Did you feel insecure? How did God meet your need for security during that time? He can do it Himself and/or through others.
God often chooses to use others to help meet our needs. In these examples, God may have met your need in a new church or neighborhood by bringing others to invite you into their world, leaving you feeling less alone and insecure.
Would you ask God how He may want to use you in your church, neighborhood or workplace? Ask God to put someone on your heart that may feel like an outsider, who feels insecure. Will you take steps to invite that person into your world?
Light Source #3: God’s people are sources of light so walk in real fellowship with Believers and Others: “the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14
What will Colossians 4:5-6 look like for you as you purposefully walk in real community with your church family, neighbors, friends and co-workers? It doesn’t have to be anything big…often it is the small gestures that are the greatest insecurity removers! Saying and doing things to initiate kindness are great ways to remove insecurity, as you meet and get to know a person on a deeper level. How?? Here are some examples:
Neighbor: Go introduce yourself to a new neighbor that has moved in or you wish you’d met a long time ago. Maybe take them a small gift and offer your phone number if they should need anything. Invite your neighbors over for a dessert night or out to a movie and dinner if you need a neutral location at first. Not only will you get to know your neighbors, but your neighbors will get to know their neighbors too! Know a neighbor that is going through a difficult time? Make them dinner or offer to watch the kids, mow the grass for them etc….
Church: Get into a small group and get to know those in your group on a deeper level. Introduce yourself to others at church that may be sitting next to you. Join the greeting team. Help a hurting family. Lead a group or a class as God directs. We think leading a marriage group would be an awesome way to help build security into others and help them help others inside and outside their family.
Co-Workers: Ask questions about family, hobbies, etc.. to get to know them better. Go out to lunch with your co-workers. Leave a special card on their desk for birthday’s. Email them if they are out sick to see how they are feeling. (If you are a boss…this can be a huge opportunity for you) Please make sure you send cards or take initiative toward those for whom it is appropriate. If you need explanation, let us know. 🙂
Family and Friends: Let them know you are thinking of them. Ask how you can pray for them. Be sure to schedule fun time with them. Remember special occasions.
Cashiers, servers etc… Mention their name when you speak to them. Look them in the eye when speaking. Ask them how their day is going or if they have a long day still ahead. Thank them sincerely. Leave a good tip!
We hope these examples help you in becoming an Insecurity Remover!!! You and I are meant to build bridges rather than walls, and that may mean we need to do the uncomfortable by taking a risk and the initiative. So often, doing nothing strengthens walls that may be easily torn down if we’d simply take the first steps.
Willing? Yes? Me too – let’s go build some bridges and remove some insecurity!