Respect: Valuing one another highly, treating one another as important, and honoring one another with our words and actions. (Romans 12:10, 1 Peter 2;17)
I met a couple once. I will call them Barb and Ben. Though they said few words, they communicated much more through their body language. You see, this couple may have been “holding in” their words, but their bodies were yelling DISRESPECT!
When Ben spoke, I would see Barb roll her eyes or shake her head no, insinuating Ben was lying. When Barb would speak, Ben would sit with his arms folded and not make eye contact with her, as if he could care less what she was saying.
Our bodies can speak what our mind might be thinking and our heart feeling. This can be a positive thing if our body is speaking love, respect and attention but in this case it was negative, uncaring, and disrespectful.
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Respect
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12)
Walking in the Light: Having a fresh encounter with Jesus.
Please read the definition for respect above. Doesn’t that sound like Jesus and how He respects us? We are so highly valued by Him – so much so that He gave His life for us!
When Jesus walked on earth, He showed great respect to those around Him. Even with Judas…Jesus still called Him “friend”, He still washed His feet, He still loved Him, even though He knew all along what Judas would do. Toward those who respected Him and, as with Judas and many of the religious leaders who did not, Jesus Christ cared for and respected others.
If Jesus can show such honor and respect to Judas and others who treated Him so cruelly, don’t you think He can honor and respect you and me? We are highly valued in Jesus’ eyes. Even though we love Jesus, there are times when we fail to live by faith, but we still highly valued and loved.
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a lamp and a light, so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105
Let’s do:
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
I hope you will take some time and do some self reflection about how/if you show respect to your spouse. It may be something you want to discuss with him/her. You may ask, “Do you feel I respect you? How can I better meet this need of respect for you? Will you tell me some specific ways I can show you respect, or please tell me how I have shown disrespect so I can be aware?”
At times we may have a difficult time showing and giving respect, perhaps because within our hearts we need to heal some past hurts. Maybe you were never shown respect; therefore, you need to learn what it looks like to give or even receive it from a healthy perspective.
Light Source #3: God’s people are sources of light so walk in real fellowship with our spouse: “the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14
I think there is nothing more beautiful than having the freedom to speak the truth in love to your spouse. With this freedom comes true respect for one another. The more you are able to speak truth in love to one another, the deeper the fellowship and friendship between you grows. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it can also bring freedom. It is not meant as a curse but a blessing. The truth – spoken in love – knocks down barriers between you and brings true intimacy and close friendship.
Here are some possible conversation starters for you and your spouse! Prayerfully, it will help you have discussions that lead to more freedom as you both learn to speak the truth in love.
How do you like to be greeted when you come home?
Do I thank you enough for all you do for our family?
Do you feel I respect you? How, so I can do more of that. If no, how can I change that?
When we talk with one another, do you feel I listen intently?
Do you feel included when plans are made as a family?
Do we date enough?
When we disagree, how should we handle the conversation when we are in public? …..in front of the kids?