Affection Expressing care and closeness through physical touch and through words such as “I love you” or “I care about you.” (Romans 16:16, John 13:1)
The “family of faith”, known as the Church has not enjoyed the warmest, most positive reputation in recent decades. Have you noticed that? When people think of the church, our hope is that a loving, caring body of believers comes to mind. I have been doing a ton of travel over the last few decades and have seen many loving families of faith, but too many people have been damaged and dismissed by congregations where the presence of “love and truth” are tough to find.
When you read the passages of scripture that accompany this Top Ten Relational Need – Affection, you are welcomed with words of “greeting one another with a holy kiss” and “Jesus having loved those…loved them to the end”. Sounds like a group of people we would want to know, doesn’t it? Well, maybe the “holy kiss” – practiced in many places as part of the culture – could be replaced with a “warm hand shake” or even “a big hug”.
Deeper than the initial greeting is the way Christians are to treat one another on a daily or ongoing basis.
Jesus made it abundantly clear that “by this everyone (especially those outside the faith) will know that you are my disciples (those inside the faith) if you love one another”. John 13:35 – The italics and parentheses are mine.
This week the writers at TBI invite you to join us as we examine the need for appropriate affection in the family of the Lord Jesus.
We, His brothers and sisters, are to deeply love one another and to show it with appropriate affection.
More is at stake than we may know…as usual!
WALKING IN THE LIGHT IS THE KEY! Lord Jesus made it clear: “…Walk in the light while you can, so the darkness will not overtake you.” (John 12:35) John spoke, “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.” (I John 1:7)
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Affection
Light Source #1: Jesus in the Light of the Word (John 8:32) Walking in the Light: Experiencing God’s Love and Giving It Away (Affection)
What more could Jesus say or do than He already said and did? As our Savior and Lord and elder brother in the faith, we are to love one another as He loves us. John 13:34-35
Stop with me for a few minutes and think, and perhaps feel, how much Jesus loves you and how He desires that you and I love each other as He does, despite any differences in color or belief or background. He has broken down the “wall of division” between us so we can simply express His heart-felt passion for each other.
Would you close your eyes to block out distractions and bring a picture into focus in your heart of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, as He prayed, agonized, and under incredible stress – sweat drops of blood over the decision to go to the cross to suffer for sins He did not commit? He deserved none of the punishment. He had most likely seen others being crucified, as criminals suffering the fate determined by the crime committed and verdicts rendered.
Jesus submitted Himself to His Father’s plan, that would redeem us to God and make us “the righteousness of God” by grace through faith. Jesus was to become “sin for us” – though He “knew no sin”. Please listen to His agonizing prayer, see Him wrestling with the cup of pain, then submitting to His Father saying, “…not my will but yours be done”. Luke 22:42
Jesus died on the cross, rose from the dead, and gave us the Holy Spirit in order for us to have power and to know His love and to keep His greatest commandment. His death and life are to free us from our sin and our pain so we can love as He loves. That was His “new commandment” in John 13: 34.
In your own “Garden of Decision” with Jesus – as you meditate on Him, would you submit your will to His and grant forgiveness for any and all inside the body of Christ who have damaged you or hurt those you love? Would you ask for a miracle of Christ’s love to flow through you to them…all of them, any of them, especially to those who deserve your mercy the least? Truly, we are most like Christ, when we love as He loved and give away His love to the least deserving. Showing affectionate care, tenderness, and gentleness to those we could hate and shun is a clear example of the love of Christ “shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit”. What if we start a movement in the church and love this way?!
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a “Lamp and Light” (Psalm 119:105) Walking in the Light: Experiencing God’s Love and Giving It Away (Affection)
Let’s Do the Book: Galatians 6:9 -10 9: Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. 10: So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.
Would you pray and ask God, “Father, to whom in the “household of faith” (the church) would You direct me to “do good”? Once you have a list or as you are making the list, would you ask God, “What good should I do for them?” Are there those on your list who simply need someone to show them proper affection? Perhaps *Abba wants you and me to shake hands, give hugs, tell some folks that they are loved, and that we love them?
*(We are invited to call God – Abba – a familiar but respectful term – Galatians 4:6)
Could your congregation use some more warm, caring affection shown in the relationships you have observed? Let the affection and warmth begin (or continue) with you and me. As we learn to love affectionately in our marriage, friendships, family, and with our children, it seems to me the next place to take this love is to the place the Apostle Paul and Jesus, our Lord, commanded it to go… to the family of faith.
Light Source #3: Followers of Jesus are called the “Light of the Word” (Matt 5:14) Walking in the Light: Experiencing God’s Love and Giving It Away (Affection)
Do this with your spouse or (if a single parent – with a trusted friend or advisor)
Our desire is that each of us learns well how to show Affection to the life partner / spouse AND to the children God has given to us. By intentionally taking Christ’s love and affection into the church family, we are once again submitting to Christ and fulfilling not only His mission but also His commandments. All the law and the prophets are wrapped up in this commandment, that we love one another. See Galatians 5:14
I have two items for you in this Homework assignment:
1. Homework with Your Family at Home: Pray for the family of faith (local congregation) of which you are a part and ask God to create a loving, affectionate, caring body of believers. Discuss with your family how this can be done and how your family can be a part of this movement. Identify a person or family with whom to intentionally share God’s love and show affection. (See definition)
2. Homework with your Church family A. Ask a few of the leaders of your Bible study class/ small group or of the church staff to join you in praying that the love of Jesus would be more readily seen and experienced in your congregation. B. Take a few of the leaders to breakfast or coffee and let them know how much you appreciate their service and ask them to let you know of ways you could be useful in helping the church show the love of Jesus even more clearly. Together, identify areas where they, as leaders, see the need for more of Jesus’ loving care in the congregation.
(This could be done with greeters at the doors, a warm environment characterized by welcoming smiles and coffee/water for each, more social gatherings in homes or at church, visiting our own neighbors to extend a warm greeting and invitation to share a meal, inviting neighbors to attend a movie or go to dinner with your family, or go on a double date with another couple in your neighborhood or church family, etc.)