Approval (Blessing): Building up or affirming another person, particularly for who they are (as opposed to what they do); affirming both the fact and the importance of our relationship with another person. (Ephesians 4:29; Mark 1:11)
“Honey, I can’t even begin to express how blessed I feel that you are my spouse! You make me feel like the most special person on the planet. You treat me with respect, care and love and I just wanted you to know that those are some things I just love about you! I love how you use work as an opportunity to mentor your coworkers and I know they have great respect for you. You treat them as if they matter, you don’t find that from most bosses. In fact, I see you treat total strangers the same way! I am so proud of who you are and I am so thankful that God brought you into my life. You make me so very happy.”
This is what approval could sound like when directed to your spouse. Approval can also be non-verbal. A proud look, a hug, handshake or kiss, applause, a greeting at the door, a smile. These are just a few non-verbal gestures that will also communicate approval to your spouse.
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Appreciation
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12) Walking in the Light: Having a fresh encounter with Jesus. (Approval)
Some of us have a greater need for approval. The reason may be that we did not feel validated or that we mattered as a kid. I think everyone that walks the earth has a need for approval..we seek it…but from whom do we seek it? If you are a believer do you seek it most from God or do you look for man to fill the need?
It is very hard to not seek approval from all those around us, isn’t it? We want to compare ourselves, be better than or at least equal to whatever everyone else says, does, act or looks like. The media knows this great need in us and they “market ” it wisely. We often let others “tell us” what we should be, instead of listening to what God says we are! God approves of you…period! You don’t have to be anything other than who you are.
Will you accept God’s approval of you as enough? Honestly ask yourself…is it REALLY enough? Tough question I know but worth answering. See what He says about His approval of you in Psalm 139!
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a lamp and a light, so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105
Let’s do: Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Ask yourself – God or man – whose approval do you desire most? Do you know God wants to use your husband/wife to fill your need for approval? Yes! He designed us needy, and he also provided a “need filler” built right into the heart of the one that loves you most on this earth.
Need Filler…did you know that God has placed you in your spouse’s life on purpose? Did you know He desires to use your hands, feet, arms, mouth, and energy to meet your spouse’s needs as He fills yours? How amazing! We are to depend on our Lord to meet our needs, but He also chooses to use those in our life to meet them as well. We are to be interdependent! Though no spouse can meet all of our needs, God can use us to meet theirs and them to meet ours – consistently, passionately, and lovingly to share His love with us.
This is the relationship God wants with you. Look to Him to meet your deepest needs, and then pour out those gifts onto others. In a marriage relationship when both husband and wife are doing this it becomes streams of living water flowing through the three of you: God, husband, wife.
Jump on in! The water is pretty amazing!
Light Source #3: God’s people are sources of light so walk in real fellowship with your spouse: “the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14
One night or morning as you look across the table at your sweet spouse will you please look deeply at them and invest some words and time to meet their need for approval? Will you do your best to meet it? Will you ask God for the desire to meet this need in your spouse? Would you even ask your spouse how you may meet this need in them?
What a wonderful, safe place your marriage can be if the need for approval and other relational needs are met on a regular basis. In this world when many feel so lonely, what a gift to have a safe place at home and to know your heart will be full there. That is God’s desire for your marriage. Did you know that?
Our prayer here at TBI is for your marriage to be a place that you and your spouse’s needs are equally met by one another. The only way to accomplish this is through authentic communication with one another. That means sharing honestly your feelings, hurts, hopes and dreams and clearly communicating how your spouse can meet your deepest needs. (Ephesians 4:25)
If you desire this kind of relationship will you be brave and start the conversation with your spouse, in love? May we pray for you and the courage we know God will give you?