Affection
Expressing care and closeness through physical touch and words, such as “I love you.” or “I care about you.”
Romans 16:16 John 13:1
A Worthy Goal: (a little “Truth in Love” from TBI)
Don’t stop investing wisely into your marriage and family until your children and friends envy your relationship and want what you have…. “faith expressing itself in love” – Galatians 5:6.
So how did Valentine’s Day go for you? What displays of affection from your spouse made your heart come alive? Do you know how to show affection to your spouse in a way that really communicates love? Let’s take some time to get really good at expressing clearly and meeting the need for Affection. I know we are to tell our spouse often of our love, but perhaps we need to become experts at “Showing and Telling”.
Have a great week!
Sincerely,
Dave Lewis The Basic Idea Helping Leaders Live Loved and Give Love Freely….Starting at Home!
Set aside a few minutes this week or plan a date night to discuss AFFECTION.
Husband, would you lead this time? Please be prepared to lead by reviewing the questions below. When ready, please initiate a “LOVE (Speak)” time.
LOVE (SPEAK) Jesus made it clear: “love one another as I have loved you”. John 13: 34 – Since He loves us by inviting us to give him our burdens, the Holy Spirit will help us love others by helping carry their burdens. I John 5:14-15
1. Describe how you feel your spouse wants you to show love to him/her in THE way that communicates love most powerfully. When did you do THAT last?
2. If you and I are to “love one another as I (Jesus) loved you”, perhaps it would be vital for us to get to know Jesus’ love as it really is. Please take the next 2-3 minutes, at least, and write ways that you know He loves you. Do you feel God’s love for you …never, occasionally, often. most of the time? Jesus, in John 17:23, says it better than I.
3. Do The Book – Consider Ephesians 5:21-25: If you “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, how would that impact your daily life with your spouse?
For example – How could you “leave the house in the morning” (whenever you and your spouse go separate ways during the day) in a way that better shows love to him/her? (for example: eye contact, hug, kiss, say “I love you”, pray together while embracing, asking if you can run an errand while you are out, …..). What other ways would enhance your love upon your arrival after being apart all day?
4. Do The Book Again – If you do Ephesians 5:21, how that would that impact the answer to this question: When you get up in the morning or go to bed at night are there adjustments you could make in your routine that would give time and place for more affection to be shown? (listen to music quietly before bed, turn off TV before bed time, pray together in bed, use mouthwash or brush teeth just before close contact… 🙂
5. Fellowship with your Spouse: Getting to know your spouse on deepening levels involves more than talk and more than sex. How could you touch more and show through “non-sexual”, as well as sexual, touching that you love each other? Write out a “love map” as suggested in Intimate Encounters workbook Chapter 16: “Friends, Saints, and Lovers”. Detail and exchange descriptions of your ideal romantic evening. Think the two of you may differ a bit? 🙂
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Now — What About the Kids? Ask- Listen- Respond
You and your children may benefit from discussing the following questions with your spouse or other caring adult
1. Do you have a child who is not as “affectionate” as another? How could you make progress in helping each child feel loved, allowing or initiating more physical touch or “I love you’s.”? This one is a great question for both a male and female perspective. Discuss it and decide a plan of action. (Fellowship with Spouse here too.)
2. How do you continue to meet a child’s need for appropriate touch and words of affection during the changing stages of childhood, teen years, or adulthood? (for example: while a child is doing homework or playing, simply pat shoulder or rub back for even a few seconds stating that you love him/her or think he/she is great…then move on…, a note, a phone call or text, listen well the next time you converse and ask good questions, etc.)
It’s in the Book!!
Romans 16:16 Greet one another with a holy kiss.
John 13:1 (Jesus had compassion and loved his disciples to the end.)