Ever said something you didn’t mean …
or hadn’t thought through what it meant?
Children often say words they don’t understand at first, and it is the cutest thing. Right? We have to learn the meaning of words we use, but we still use them. One of those phrases we may have heard at weddings is often used in the vows. It goes something like this in many of the weddings I have officiated:
With this ring I thee wed, and with my heart’s deep affection I thee endow. To have and to hold from this day forward
I know we mean the words, and I am not becoming cynical in my old age, but those words -‘ to have and to hold” now have new meaning to me because Carol and I have known each other for 54 years and been married for 52 of them-as of December 30, 2024. I am so glad we are learning more about what it means to “have and to hold”.
Recently as we were about to drop off to sleep, I was holding her close to me and realized there may come a day when I won’t be able to hold her either from being parted by death or some physical limitations. I wanted to wake her up and hold her closer and not let go, but I didn’t want to awaken her.
As the thoughts about “to have and to hold” rushed into my mind, I realized I don’t “have” her here forever any more than she “has” me here forever. Neither can we “hold” each other always here on this earth.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are here only a short time, and you, perhaps as a younger adult, may think that you simply won’t grow old, but, unless you go into eternity earlier than you think or Jesus comes back to take you home, you will.
I won’t belabor the point. If you are married or are going to be, you only get to “have and hold” that spouse for a relatively brief time. Don’t waste it! Don’t waste time being mean, unforgiving, unkind, loud, obnoxious, controlling, self-centered, or rude. Listen to Jesus and obey Him. He is really smart about relationships, especially your relationships.
Get help if you need it. Don’t wait another day. Go to your spouse. Take the initiative.. Pray together and do that every day….more than just at meal time. So much depends on how well we love our spouse and family.
Love, God’s love, is the hallmark of the believer’s life. If you call yourself a Christ-follower, as I do, then there is no time to waste. Our nation needs revival and to follow God even more closely than ever. Whether the election went your way or it didn’t, President Trump isn’t the savior any more that VP Harris would have been. You and I are responsible for reviving God’s love in our marriage, family, church, community, and the world.
So go have and hold your spouse closely and look at him/her, gaze into each others eyes and remember that when you vowed “to have and to hold”, you meant it, even though you and I have had to learn what it really means. Do it while you can – not for each other only – but for the glory and honor of God. I know we will have eternity together in the family of God, but love starts here. Honestly, I don’t want to appear before Jesus and regret not loving my spouse and family as I was told and empowered to do. Got enough regrets already. Don’t want more.
Psalm 73:25 – “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.”
The only eternal application of “to have and to hold” is our Lord Jesus because He has and holds us and won’t let go…..forever!
Guess where the love to have and hold your spouse comes from in the first place?
I John 4:19 – We love because He loves us first…
Do you know Jesus has and holds you?
Mother Teresa is quoted as saying, “If you want to do something great in this world, go home and love your family.” I couldn’t agree more. Greatness starts and develops as we love our family on the way to loving others and even our precious heavenly Father.