Appreciation Expressing thanks, praise or commendation, particularly in recognition of someone’s accomplishments or efforts. Gratefully acknowledging what someone “does.” (Colossians 3:15 b; 1 Corinthians 11:2)
Don’t you just love it when, after working hard on a project or task, your spouse notices and says, “Thank you for working so hard.” Oh, I know, even without any thanks or praise, you could do your work, try really hard, and persist until the task is done or you’ve done the best you can. However, we are talking about showing love to each other in ways that express the love of Christ.
Since God made us needy of these relational blessings: acceptance, affection, appreciation, approval, attention, comfort, encouragement, respect, security, and support, then He must mean for those needs to be met. He can and will, of course, meet these needs for us as the giver of “every good and perfect gift”. But what if His plan is not only to create us needy and meet these needs directly but also to allow us to “freely receive” these love gifts and give them away as a means of showing His love to others? I believe that is exactly what He has in mind.
This week our focus is on showing Appreciation to our spouse. You may discover that Appreciation, though a simple concept, is missing too often in the relationships around you. Let’s make sure we are “professional grade” Appreciators!
WALKING IN THE LIGHT IS THE KEY! Lord Jesus made it clear: “…Walk in the light while you can, so the darkness will not overtake you.” (John 12:35) John spoke, “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.” (I John 1:7)
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – So — Let’s Walk in the Light!
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Appreciation in Marriage
Light Source #1: Jesus in the Light of the World (John 8:32) Walking in the Light: Experiencing God’s Love and Giving It Away (Appreciation)
Let’s Walk in the Light of Fresh Encounters with Jesus
In Matthew 15, Jesus encounters a woman with a sick daughter. In this fascinating exchange Jesus praises this Canaanite (non-Jewish) woman for her act of faith. She went away changed and her daughter was healed.
Here is the question: Does Jesus praise only Gentile women in the first century?
Remember what Jesus said about any and all who “gave a cup of cold water” to his little ones”? They will receive a reward.
Does Jesus notice and reward only the good deeds of those who lived while He was on earth before His crucifixion and resurrection?
Would you spend a few moments recalling the blessings you have received for the good deeds you have done? Even though you did not do those acts for a reward, how has God rewarded you?
In my life, Carol and I have been rewarded for investing time and love in each other, our children, and our grandchildren. Though we didn’t do it for a reward, we have been abundantly rewarded by the gifts of the many ways our children honor us and how our love as a couple has grown.
I have sensed the pleasure and smile of God on my life in times of faith, expressed and “heard” the Holy Spirit whisper to my soul, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” My faith has been rewarded by needs met without compromising God’s truth as He supplied our needs “according to His riches in glory”.
Recall the ways God has appreciated your faith, your kindness to others, and your love by His bringing recognition or simply giving you a sense of His pleasure. Listen to Him now and ask Him to remind you of the ways He has shown appreciation for your faith, good works, and investments in others.
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a “Lamp and Light” (Psalm 119:105) Walking in the Light: Experiencing God’s Love and Giving It Away (Appreciation)
Let’s Walk in the Light of “Doing the Book”
Let’s Do: Matthew 10:42 New International Version (NIV)
42: And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward.”
A great place to begin showing Appreciation to others is with your spouse. This week notice his/her daily schedule. Write a brief summary of a few days or typical week in your spouse’s life. Take note of the responsibilities they carry and the importance of their work and effort. Please don’t look for perfect work or flawless accomplishment, but see their energy invested, their thought process, and attempt to think or feel what it would be like if he/she were somehow removed from the scene and all that fell on you alone to accomplish: cooking, cleaning, traveling, parenting, finances, keeping you fed or clothed with their salary or investments, paying bills, etc, etc.
Give your spouse some “cups of cold water” this week. Without making a big deal of it, leave a note or two around to express your gratitude, or ask him/her for a good time to take them out for something they like to eat or to a place they enjoy going. Maybe you could reward him/her with an “alone” time to be away for a few hours on his/her own or together…doing what he/she wants.
What is the thing that makes him/her “light up” when it happens or when it is given? My wife really enjoys time with our family especially now that our children and grandchildren are not in our home. So, I will do my best to give her time with them…a Mom/Daughter date with our daughter who lives locally or a trip to see our son and his family or our daughter living 9 hours away.
How can you give a “cup of cold water” in appreciation for your spouse’s efforts, accomplishments, and work?
Light Source #3: Followers of Jesus are called the “Light of the World” (Matt 5:14) Walking in the Light: Experiencing God’s Love and Giving It Away (Appreciation)
Let’s Walk in the Light of Fellowship with Believers (especially our spouse, if he/she is a Christ-follower)
1. You and I sometimes need help figuring out what ways to express appreciation best. Don’t hesitate to ask. Start a Date Night or Coffee Time this week with this question: ________________(spouse’s name), would you tell me what makes you feel the most appreciated? Is it a gift, a gift of time to yourself, time together, help with something, acknowledging what you have done, or other,_______________________?
2. Take mental or written note of the responses and “Just Do It”!
3. Pray with your spouse and thank God for him/her out loud. Thank God for specific ways your spouse contributes to the success of the home, your marriage, your children, other people, the local congregation, your extended family, etc. Whether your spouse prays or not, you can tell God about your gratitude for giving you your spouse. “He who finds a wife,” Proverbs says, “finds a good thing”. I assume God would be OK if we substitute the word “husband” for you wives in the crowd.
Equipping Others: If the staff / leaders are interested in beginning marriage ministry or strengthening existing relational ministry, we at TBI would be happy to discuss that process and prayerfully consider partnering with your congregation. Our goal is not simply to change the reputation of the church, but it is to equip and help free the body of Christ to simply, powerfully love one another…starting at the house and continuing into the household of faith. A love-filled reputation! Jesus said we are to shine into the world to let everyone know we are His disciples. I can’t think of a better time to start than now!