Greetings!
This week, you get two for one! Two ingredients of a healthy relationship all in one week, that is. We’re pretty sure that you guys are so good at these essential ingredients that you can handle two at a time! 🙂 We hope you enjoy accomplishing this week’s LOVE(Speak) section together and giving each other honest, loving answers!
Don’t forget to check out our new Q4K section, offering questions to use as you talk about these relational tools with your kids!
In this email, you’ll find the “Ingredients of the Week” section, which highlights two of the essential characteristics of a healthy relationship. Our “LOVE(Speak)” section contains five questions crafted to enhance communication as a couple. We have also included some “Getting Started” suggestions if you need a little direction as you begin.
Please don’t hesitate to let us know if you have any questions or suggestions for us!
The TBI Ministries Team
Getting Started
Be intentional about setting aside a few minutes this week or planning a date night to discuss Joint Accomplishment and Mutual Giving together.
Husband, would you lead this time by reviewing the statements to be completed or questions being asked so that you know how to make the most of your time? When you are ready, please initiate a “Love (Speak)” time with your wife.
Need of the Week
Joint Accomplishment
“I need you.”
“Each of us is important, but what could we accomplish by working together?”
Amos 3:3 & Ephesians 4:16
Enemy of Joint Accomplishment is Self-Reliance
“I don’t need you.”
Mutual Giving
“I love you.”
“Even if you stop giving to me, I will do my best to continue loving you unconditionally.”
“When both of us are loving the other selflessly, our love will grow stronger and more beautiful as years go by.”
John 13:1 & Ephesians 5:21-28
Enemy of Mutual Giving is Selfishness
“You must meet my desires and needs as I dictate.”
LOVE(Speak)
- (Joint Accomplishment) Describe a time when you and your spouse worked on a project or played something together and you had fun. Describe a time when you tried to work on a project and the outcome wasn’t so good or very much fun.
- (Mutual Giving) Describe a time when you wouldn’t or couldn’t give much to meet your spouse’s needs, but he/she kept showing love to you anyway. How did you feel at the time? How do you feel about it now?
- (Mutual Giving) Describe a time when you continued to show love and care to your spouse even though he/she was not in any mood to reciprocate or even accept your love. How did you feel about it then? How do you feel about it now?
- (Joint Accomplishment) What do you have coming up in the next few weeks or month that you could invite your spouse to share in accomplishing? When you invite your spouse to join you, please remember it is an invitation not a demand or command. Perhaps you could offer to help in one of the projects he/she is trying to accomplish. Remember: It is an offer not a demand.
- (Mutual Giving) At an appropriate time, please tell your spouse how much you love him/her, then ask how you can better show love when he/she is not feeling particularly loving – and it shows. (Examples: just give me a little time to process, just hold me or kiss me, ask me if you can help me get out of this mood, sit beside me or in the same room while I get over myself, let me know you are willing to talk about it when I am.)
Q4K: Yours or Others
(some children don’t have parents who’ll do this with them so maybe you could be the caring adult in his/her life)
IDEA : Ask some other parents or other creative adults for some age-appropriate projects you could do with your child. Get 4 or 5 ideas that you think might work then ask your child if any of them sound fun. If he/she chooses one, set a time on the calendar to do it … sooner rather than later. Make it a count-down if it needs to be. Watch some videos if you need help actually pulling this off or ask someone to help you. The main issue is to make it fun for doing WITH your child not doing it FOR him/her.
QUESTION: Which of these 4 or 5 activities sounds like it would be fun for you?
Remember to vary the choices: indoors or out, action or seated, craft or words, music or sport, you get the idea. Hopefully it will be fun for the child and fun and meaningful for you.