Comfort
Caringly responding to a hurting person through words, actions, emotional responses, and physical touch; hurting with and for others in the midst of their grief or pain.
Romans 12:15, Matthew 5:4, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Jesus wept with friends.
John 11:35
Think of the last time you were really saddened by something. Maybe it was a disappointment at work, sadness from a key relationship, or loss of a close friend. During that time, do you remember some things people said attempting to “comfort” you? Think of the things they said that helped, and maybe some things that were misplaced or not appropriate for your situation – though well-intended. This week, let’s talk about real Comfort and what it looks like to be given and received. This may be uncomfortable for us since we may not have seen it often.
Please don’t hesitate to let us know if you have any questions or suggestions!
The TBI Ministries Team
A Worthy Goal: (a little Support from TBI)
Don’t stop investing wisely into your marriage and family until your children and friends envy your relationship and want what you have…. “faith expressing itself in love” – Galatians 5:6.
Set aside a few minutes this week or plan a date night to discuss Comfort together.
Husband, would you lead this time? Please be prepared to lead by reviewing the questions below. When ready, please initiate a “LOVE (Speak)” time.
LOVE(Speak)
1. Describe two or three recent situations where you have been hurt by others. (misunderstood, disrespected, unloved, unsupported, etc.) Who offered comfort to you in each of those times?
2. How would you like to have had comfort communicated in each case?
3. How was comfort shown to you and your siblings (if any) when you were hurt/experienced loss or disappointment during your childhood? How would you like to have been comforted then?
4. Is there one event from your life prior to knowing your spouse for which you would like to receive comfort and healing? How could your spouse help you? Do you need other help?
5. What methods (good or bad) do people use to find “comfort” in their painful life events? Do they tell others, ask for comfort, turn to substances or things, etc.? What have you seen?
Application: As a couple, do you meet with each other on a regular basis to discuss schedules, finances, etc.? Consider adding this question to the agenda: “Where do you most need my comfort and how can I best comfort you during those times?” (just listen, hold me, tell me you are not going to leave me alone to hurt by myself, etc.?)
What About the Kids? Ask – Listen – Respond
1. For what have your children/children of focus needed comfort recently? Have they been left out, bullied, judged, misunderstood, ignored, or suffered a significant (to them) loss?
2. How could you comfort them by just asking, “How’s your heart?”
3. Perhaps they need a few words, a listening ear, undivided attention, and someone to hold them. Your few words may sound similar to the following: “It makes me sad to see how that hurt you. I care about you and love you.”