Hurts cannot be healed if they are ignored. Some may ask, “why do I need to bring up the past when it was so long ago?” The truth is, the pain doesn’t go away, it just sits hidden within you waiting to spill out. You may wind up having a big reaction to a small event when you have built up, unresolved hurt inside.
Have you caught yourself having any of those over-sized reactions to an insignificant event? Is it possible that even within yourself, there is a damaged heart under the anger? It isn’t that the anger is justified by unresolved hurt, but it may be understood or explained more clearly inside your own heart. Would you take an honest look within and into your past and ask God to show you if you have pain you need to acknowledge? Perhaps viewing the Top Ten Relational Needs would help you do a check up. See the link.
Friend, your pain needs to be comforted. You need to mourn over the hurt. Will you walk through these steps?
Would you write down any wounds that God brings to mind based on Ten Needs unmet?
Will you talk with God or a trusted friend (perhaps your spouse) about how you feel about that hurt/hurts?
If you need to forgive someone would you ask God to help you do that?
(You won’t always need to or be able to forgive that person face to face but would you do as God leads in this situation? Be brave! We want to encourage you that forgiving someone does not mean you excuse their behavior, but it means that you are choosing to free your heart of any bitterness towards that person.)
Would you take time to mourn your hurt? An example might be: You did not exactly have the childhood you thought or hoped you would. Maybe your parents did not meet your needs or you experienced neglect or abuse. Mourning means to grieve over something that you can’t get back. In this example you can not get back your childhood years or the fact that you may have had to grow up quicker than you should have. May I just say how our hearts hurt for you. Honestly, as I write this I know someone reading these words is suffering great pain inside. I am so sorry for your hurt, but I can tell you that God hurts over you too. He wants His Comfort to meet you at the point of your pain and aloneness.
Would you share your hurt with someone you trust and allow that person to give you comfort? If available to you, would you find that safe person with whom you can be honest about your pain and allow them to know you on this deeper level. I know it may be risky, but it also may mean the first step in healing the past pain.
I pray that this process will bring your soul freedom. I (Linda) know My Redeemer Lives because He has healed my deepest hurts. I can tell you that I always thought I would be broken, but God had another plan! As I worked through this exact process God healed my heart so much that the events that broke me no longer hurt me! They no longer have power over me! Only God can do this!
The process was so hard and so painful, but can I give you encouragement from the other side of pain? I spent so much of my life stuffing that pain, trying to keep it from spilling out onto others. I spent so much of my life feeling worthless, depressed and living in a prison I put myself in due to my own fears, only to find out that the prison door was never locked! I simply had to take Jesus’ hand and walk through it!
Will you take HIS hand? He wants to lead you out of your prison cell, my friend!
Isaiah 49:13
Sing for joy, O heavens, and exult, O earth;
break forth, O mountains, into singing!
For the Lord has comforted his people
and will have compassion on his afflicted.