Affection
Expressing care and closeness through physical touch and through words such as “I love you” or “I care about you.” (Romans 16:16, John 13:1)
Light Source #1: Fresh Encounters with Jesus – Meeting the Need of Affection in Your Spouse – Velvet and Steel/Gentle but Strong
When we “walk in the light” the “darkness will not overtake us”. John 12:35 – 36
Let’s Walk in the Light of Jesus Christ!
Have you ever been overwhelmed with the love of God pouring through your soul and reaching places in your heart that needed the light of His love? I truly believe that experience is to happen to us often versus being a tale of a one-time occurrence from our distant past.
Oh, how Jesus loves. Remember the time in scripture when Jesus saw the crowd coming to Him and he said that they are “like sheep without a shepherd…harassed and helpless”. These are not the words of a hateful, bitter judge. Are they? No, this heart is not only “acquainted with grief” but also “moved with compassion”. Matthew 9:36
Do you need to walk in the refreshing, clarifying light of Jesus’ love today? Would you attempt to know that light now? In a quiet place when you have a few minutes, I want you to picture yourself in this crowd of people walking toward Jesus down a dusty road. Listen to the hum of the crowd around you, then lift your eyes high enough to see through the crowd to catch Jesus’ eye. He is looking at you and He really cares. He knows you and the joy you are experiencing and the pain you may be carrying.
Walk up to Jesus and simply let Him say what He wants to say to you. He still speaks to hearts, you know? What is He saying to you?
Even if you can’t go there in your heart right now, let me tell you the truth about how He feels about you. Jesus is moved with compassion for you. Jesus knows “we are but dust”(Psalm 103), but He sacrificed His life for yours to have you in His forever family. Now that is love!
Check out Matthew 9:36
36 Seeing the people, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd.
Light Source #2: Experience the Word of God – Do the Book – Psalm 119:105
Let’s Walk in the Light of God’s Word
Light Source #2: Meeting the Need of Affection in Your Spouse – Velvet and Steel/Gentle but Strong! Would you do Ephesians 5:21 for your spouse? Would you submit your need for affection to his/her need and find out how to affectionately love him/her?
There are very few principles in scripture stronger or more clearly communicated than loving God and others, even loving yourself. As you encounter Jesus and experience His deep love for you, you keep growing in His love…you feel loved, you lose fears, and slowly but surely you trust Him more and more to do for you and through you what you could never do on your own…that is, to love as He loves. (John 13:34-35)
After spending time in Light Source #1 – Walking in the Light of Jesus, let’s move out to Walk in the Light of His Word. Let’s Do – Ephesians 5: 21 – Would you read that is scripture?
Please consider asking yourself these 3 questions and be prepared to share the answers with your spouse in : Light Source #3.
Please read the definition of Affection …again.
1. How does your spouse seem to enjoy being shown affection? ( 5 Love Languages?)
Saying: I love you
Touching: Hugging, Kissing, Sitting close, etc
Being Together: Making sure you are where he/she is and not isolating. Engaging them
Gifts: The giving of a simple gift says “I love you” to some of us.
Helping: Discovering how and engaging in ways that serve your spouse
2. Whichever you feel most clearly shows love to your spouse, would you determine to do those things and in the process make sure you are saying “I love you”, being close by, and affectionately holding him/her? This could be as simple as walking in the door after work and taking 5 seconds to look her/him in the eye, hug, and say “I love you and am glad you are here”.
3. Would you plan a date with your spouse to see how accurately you guessed what his/her true desires are regarding the need for affection? It is cool to guess and have a great date around those guesses. Now it is time to ask your spouse Question 1 and listen to what his/her ideas of Affection are.
Light Source #3: Enjoy True Fellowship – Matthew 5: 14 – We are the light too. When we “walk in the light” the “darkness will not overtake us”. John 12:35 – 36
Let’s Walk in the Light of Real Fellowship with Our Spouse
A. Review Questions 1, 2, and 3 above then make preparations for a date. Choose well!
Some ideas!
Little Time/Little Money:
1. Make breakfast and take it to him/her in bed.
- Ask Question 1: How do you like to have Affection shown to you? Saying, Touching, Being Together, Gifts, Helping?
- Listen closely and maybe even write down some of what is said. Next put into your calendar or Notes section the comments offered by your spouse.
2. Drive out to a remote place where it is quiet and beautiful. Take a simple picnic or car-meal…in case it rains. Sit together and talk…asking Question 1 and listening well.
- Ask Question 1: How do you like to have Affection shown to you? Saying, Touching, Being Together, Gifts, Helping?
- Listen closely and maybe even write down some of what is said. Next put into your calendar or Notes section the comments offered by your spouse.
More Time/More Money:
1. Go out to dinner, to coffee, to a movie, ….get him/her out of the house!
- Ask Question 1: How do you like to have Affection shown to you? Saying, Touching, Being Together, Gifts, Helping?
- Listen closely and maybe even write down some of what is said. Next put into your calendar or Notes section the comments offered by your spouse.
2. Go overnight to a hotel or B&B he/she likes.
- Ask Question 1: How do you like to have Affection shown to you? Saying, Touching, Being Together, Gifts, Helping?
- Listen closely and maybe even write down some of what is said. Next put into your calendar or Notes section the comments offered by your spouse.
Our desire is that each of us learns well how to show Affection to the life partner / spouse God has given to us. I wonder what impact this might have on our children or others watching affection being shown appropriately and powerfully in our marriage? What do you think?