RESPECT Valuing one another highly, treating one another as important, and honoring one another with our words and actions. (Romans 12:10, 1 Peter 2:17)
Meeting The Need for Respect in your Spouse
I think the word “respect” can make some people’s backs bristle up, don’t you? The word itself is very commanding, demanding maybe. “Respect your elders!” “Show respect!” “You better respect me, or else!!!” But really, take a look a minute, respect has a softer side. When respect is shown or given correctly it says, “you matter to me,” “you are important,” “you are valued.” That feels a little better, doesn’t it?
Look at your sweet spouse. Can you imagine him/her walking around with a soul full of “you matter, you are important and valued by me” feelings on a daily basis? Talk about cloud 9! Wouldn’t you want to feel that? I sure would! Let’s take a look at some ways we can show respect to our spouse and send them on a “Cloud 9” experience everyday or at least more often than we do now! I think that’s called making progress!
Let’s Walk in the Light of Jesus – He is the Light of the World (John 9:5)
Let’s pause here and take some time and read Psalm 139:1-16. What does this scripture say to you about our Heavenly Father? What does it say to you personally about you?
This has to be one of my favorite scriptures. It speaks so clearly to me just what my Father thinks of me. How intimate He is with me and how much He values and knows me. Do you think it is a good representation of respect?
Please look with me at our definition of respect. RESPECT: Valuing one another highly, treating one another as important, and honoring one another with our words and actions.
I couldn’t feel more valued or important than I do after reading this scripture. He VALUES you and me so much, that He was there with you while you were being formed in your mother’s womb. HE knit you together! You are so important to Him that He cares to know you so intimately that He knows your words, even before you speak them. Your heavenly Father respects you, for YOU!
Walk in the Light of God’s Word – Let’s do the Book!
Colossians 3: 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not men.
Will you take this scripture and ask God to show you how to apply this with your spouse? I mean, ask God to show you ways to give respect to your spouse. What would that look like for him/her specifically? God knows what will speak to your spouse as you use the words/actions of respect. After all He created him/her. He knows your partner so deeply. I bet He would have great insight. Just ask Him.
Think about ways that you can “do” and words that you can say – as God leads you – then work at it with all your heart. Maybe God has asked you to take a few minutes when you come home from work to just look at your sweet wife, face to face, and ask her how her day was. Maybe God is asking you to include your husband with something as simple as accepting a dinner offer with friends, getting his thoughts first. There are so many ways we can show respect to one another, especially to our spouse!.
Let’s Walk in the Light of Real Fellowship with Our Spouse
What is it about your spouse that you discovered in your prayer time above that you can now work at with all your heart?
Has God shown you ways you can meet your spouse’s need for respect through your words and actions? Maybe over coffee you can ask your spouse specific ways he/she feels respected? Take this time to discuss the need for respect in your spouse and most importantly, does he/she feel respected by you? If not, please ask for forgiveness. Thank them for speaking the truth in love to you. (Now you “know” what speaks respect to your spouse. What a gift!)
I think there is nothing more beautiful than having the freedom to speak the truth in love to your spouse. With this freedom comes true respect for one another. The more questions you ask about the other, the deeper the fellowship between you grows. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it can also bring freedom. It is not meant as a curse but a blessing. The truth – spoken in love – knocks down barriers between you and brings true intimacy and close friendship.
This has probably been THE most life saving change for my own marriage. By being so open with one another, it has allowed us to truly be best friends. It has given us great insight into each others heart and the knowledge of how to care more personally. I think meeting the need for respect may be just the thing for hitting the target for feeling loved in the heart of many a spouse…maybe even you.
RESPECT can be one of the greatest expressions of love.