Security (Peace)
Security for Your Children/Child of Focus
Establishing and maintaining harmony in our relationships and providing freedom from fear or threat of harm through expressions of vulnerability , deepening of trust, and the successful resolution of conflict. (Romans 12:16,18)
Coloring books for adults are all the rage lately. Not your childhood coloring book but intricate, detailed coloring books. If your childhood was a coloring book, what would it look like? What would the details be? Would it be bright and colorful or dark and gloomy? What kind of memories do you recall that would become pages in your coloring book? Has someone colored in it carefully, staying in the lines or are your pages blank or just carelessly scribbled in?
It’s time to get personal. Perhaps uncomfortably personal. It’s time for you to examine your own unresolved childhood issues- those incidents from your past that have colored who and what you are today.
When you grew up and left your childhood home, you didn’t go empty-handed. You packed emotional bags with all the “stuff” your family gave you – good and bad.
In your bag of “stuff” you also bought with you all the unmet needs of your childhood.
(Italics: taken from The Intimate Encounter Book Chapter 7)
The truth is we all walk away from our childhood with the best that our parents could give us. Remember that your parents also walked away from their own chilhood with met and unmet needs by their own parents. The same will be true for your own children. They will “walk away” (leave to establish their own homes) with what you give them. So your coloring book will help create pages in theirs.
Maybe you had a wonderful childhood experience – or maybe you didn’t – but no matter what you experienced, we can all improve in the good things we pass on to our own children. Let’s look to our Heavenly Father to heal our hurts and for guidance as we seek to meet the needs of our children/children of focus. (Your child/children of focus are the children in your life that are not your own.)
Let’s Walk in the Light of Jesus – He is the Light of the World (John 9:5)
Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
We looked at this verse last week in our 52 week plan on Security. You were asked to search out other scripture that specifically speaks to your heart about your security in Christ? I think these verses, Isaiah 41:10 and the verses God revealed to you are a great place to start.
Let’s begin with Isaiah 41:10. We are promised that God will give us strength, He will give us help, and He will uphold us. We are told we don’t have to fear. Because of this, you can lay your heart open before the Lord and allow Him to heal the places in your heart that still hurt from your childhood. I nvite Him to come into those places of your heart where pain still lives and allow His love for you to replace the pain. You are loved. You were loved by Jesus even when those hurts were planted and the scars were made.
What about the scriptures God gave you personally from last week? Rest secure that His promises are true. He keeps His Word.
Let’s Walk in the Light of God’s Word – It is a Source of Light for Us (Psalm 119:105)
Matthew 11:28-30 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Were you helped to feel secure by your parents’ loving responses, as you grew from childhood into adulthood? What about your kids? Do your kids know they can come to you no matter what? Do you spend adequate amounts of quality time with them enjoying their world, learning what is important to them?
Maybe as you spend time thinking on these questions , you may realize you might have missed out on this need when you were young or that you may need to make some changes with your own children in order to help them feel and know security.
Let’s do Matthew 11:28-30 Can you or will you trust God enough to give your burdens to Him and take His yoke and learn from Him? He wants us to rest from our burdens, and there is much He wants to teach us.
Let’s Walk in the Light of Real Fellowship with Our Children/Child of Focus – We are the Light of the World, Too. (Matthew 5: 14)
We all want our children to feel secure but exactly how do we do that? You do that, on purpose! You intentionally make yourself aware of how you treat your child each day. You intentionally spend time doing things that THEY l ove to do and you do it with them. You intentionally let them know that they can always come and talk to you. You do that by starting conversations with them or saying I am sorry to them if you did or said something you shouldn’t have. You intentionally let them know by your actions that you are FOR them. You intentionally speak to your child words of affirmation. Shall I go on??? 🙂 You get the idea.
We have to be INTENTIONAL. Like anything else in life we have to intentionally put the effort in to that which we care about most OR it simply will not happen.
Maybe you can get out those coloring books, if your child likes to color, and spend a little time chatting and laughing together while you color. Start a conversation with them by asking them questions like, “What makes you happy?” “Tell me something you love to do.” “How can I pray for your friends.” “What about this world we live in bothers you or makes you feel insecure at times?” “Could we pray together for your friends and for those things that scare you or make you anxious about life?”
By being intentional you can make a world of difference in meeting the need for Security in your child.