“What’s in your luggage?”
Luggage comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors. You have designer luggage, hard/soft shelled luggage, bright, bold and ordinary colored luggage, and luggage that you pull, roll, or carry. No matter the design difference on the outside, we basically pack inside all we think we will need for our trip.
Did you know you have luggage that has been packed for you as a child? You carry this luggage into adulthood and have expectations that your wife/husband will “add in” the essentials you have been missing. We don’t realize it, but our spouse may not have that specific “essential” in his/her luggage to share!
Good or bad, in most cases our parents did the best they knew how when they raised us. They also had/have their own luggage, and they could only share the essentials that they had. Let’s look a little deeper into this luggage of ours!
Would you be brave and open up your luggage? Let’s take a look inside. Warning…. It may be a little musty in there!
Try to remember back when you were a child. How did mom/dad show they loved you? Was it just something you assumed, something you earned, something not felt or was it freely and powerfully given? Take a moment and write about it, look over it. How do you feel about it. Are you still carrying this stuff in your own luggage? Where might some of this “not so good” stuff go, if we are still carrying it in our luggage?
Ask God to show you through His eyes your mom/dad’s situation. Remember the contents of their luggage based on some of their unmet needs. Do you know about their lives, not only their adult years but also when they were children? May be a great conversation to have with them if you are able. “Mom/Dad, tell me about your parents? How was your life as a kid? I would love to hear about it.”
After this conversation, or reflecting on what you know about your parents, can you see their own unmet needs and what essentials were not placed into their “luggage”? I remember the first time I realized why my mom and dad were the way they were, and it made me sad knowing what they missed growing up. It also helped my heart move towards forgiving them for what was unmet by them when I was a child. This is an important step in unpacking that luggage of yours, so you don’t have to drag it around with you any longer.
Again, we are not trying to throw our parents under the bus, but we need to acknowledge needs that went unmet. This directly affects who we are and how we treat AND expect to be treated by others today.
Can you see the cycle? We can only use what we have in our luggage. We can also add new things, great things!
The road to emptying our luggage for good is by conversation with our spouse/friends/family. You need to know that it is OK to communicate what you need. (After you spend time discovering what you need and what need is unmet.) How will your spouse/friends/family know if you don’t communicate that to them?
The thing I love though is… GOD’s part in all this “luggage talk”! He chooses to use us to help empty the smelly, old garments from one another’s luggage and replace them with fresh, new ones! What might be lacking in my bag, may be overflowing in another’s. When we learn to have these conversations with one another, we can better understand how to help meet the need.
Do you know that God will also meet those unmet needs? Maybe you are single, without family or close friends. God desires to meet every need perfectly! He can too!!
Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
God wants you to unload that luggage at His feet. Allow Him to sift through its contents and let Him free you of dragging that bag around with the unnecessary weight of old clothing! Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?