Acceptance
Receiving others willingly and unconditionally (even when their behavior has been imperfect) and loving them in spite of any differences that may exist between you. Romans 15:7
A Worthy Goal: (a little “Truth in Love” from TBI)
Don’t stop investing wisely into your marriage and family until your children and friends envy your relationship and want what you have…. “faith expressing itself in love” – Galatians 5:6.
Dear (Contact First Name),
Here we are at the beginning of another trip through the Top Ten Relational Needs, and we are so glad that you decided to join us on this journey! Let’s take advantage of this new beginning to learn how to love our spouse and family even more, equipped with a better knowledge of how love is communicated and received.
Have a great week!
Sincerely, Dave Lewis
Be intentional about setting aside a few minutes this week or planning a date night to discuss Acceptance together.
Husband, would you lead this time by reviewing the statements to be completed or questions being asked so that you know how to make the most of your time? When you are ready, please initiate a “LOVE (Speak)” time with your wife.
As you use this tool – the 52-Week Plan – be sure to make some of the Marriage Staff Meetings fun to lighten things up a bit.
Light Source #1: Fresh Encounters with Jesus Christ LOVE SPEAK…
Do you know anyone in scripture who, after encountering Jesus Christ, went away different than they were before? Would you list some of those people? Please choose the person from your list, who seemed to have the greatest need to be accepted, then put their name on a piece of paper.
Answer this question: Are you any less deserving or any more deserving of Christ’s acceptance compared to this person you chose? Please know that the answer to both questions is “no”!
Please think for a few minutes about your obvious short-comings, failures, and differences that might make you feel that you don’t deserve to be accepted by Christ?
Picture Christ standing in front of you, looking into your eyes, and letting you know that He paid for all sins. He loves you in spite of what you may feel makes you unacceptable or unworthy of His love. This Jesus who is the “same yesterday, today, and forever” accepted Zachaeus, the woman caught in adultery, the Samaritan woman, the centurion, Matthew the tax collector, the man born blind, and lepers no one else would touch, and on and on. He accepts you and me and invites us into His family. You belong in His family because He accepts you. Praise Him for it!
Light Source #2: Frequent Experiences in the Word (Do The Book)
Let’s Do: Matthew 10:40 “Anyone who receives you receives me, and anyone who receives me receives the Father who sent me.
1. When you were a child, how did parents typically respond to you and your siblings when one of you “messed up”? How would you have liked for them to respond? Did they know how to make you feel accepted even though you had failed or were different from what they expected you to be?
2. In what ways did you then, do you now feel that you are “different from others”? Even as a couple, how are you “different from other couples”? Do you feel accepted? Do you know couples who are “different”? How well do you accept them ….. “as is”?
3. Let’s Do Matthew 10:40 progressively better and better by making sure we welcome our spouse, receive him/her “as is”without making it our goal to change him/her. Identify your spouses “differences” and even their obvious “failures” to live up to your or others standards. Ask God to give you His heart for your spouse since He receives him/her. Realize that in receiving your spouse “as is”, you are receiving Jesus, and the Father who sent Him to us.
In the next section “Light Source #3”, you will have a chance to discuss your acceptance of each other and to talk about the Bible character you chose as your “person most in need of acceptance” from Light Source #1 above.
You Belong – Do You Know It?
Your Spouse Belongs – Does He/She Know It?
Light Source #3: Other Jesus Followers – Have Real Fellowship with Your Spouse
These questions and their answers allow you to “do” Romans 12:15, as well as potentially have deepening fellowship and friendship with your spouse.
4a. The Question: (Please ask your spouse) Would you tell me something that happened recently that made you feel happy, special, or fulfilled?
As your spouse answers the question, be ready to “rejoice with those who rejoice”. Romans 12:15a leads me to respond to my spouse, “I am so glad that happened to you and am excited to celebrate with you.”
4b. The Question: (Please ask your spouse) Would you tell me something that happened recently that made you feel sad, disappointed, alone, or rejected?
As your spouse answers the question, be ready to “mourn with those who mourn”. Romans 12:15b
Mourning with another person leads me to respond to my spouse, “It hurts me to see you so sad or to know you feel rejected. I love you and want to make sure you know that I do.”
5. Would you discuss the answers to the questions #1, #2, #3 above and continue to “know each other” and let your spouse “know you more deeply”? Would you discuss your “person who needed acceptance most” from Light Source #1. Why did that person hit your heart or head as the most in need? Any identification with your own life or pain?
What About the Kids? They have “needs” too!
1. Think of a time that your Child/Children of Focus disappointed you or made you sad. Have you expressed to them how they made you feel by their action? Have you reinforced the truth that you love them despite the disappointment? That might be a good way to illustrate acceptance of them – they belong in your family. By the way, I am not asking you to make them feel awful just speak truth in love.
2. Perhaps settling a conflict and letting your Child/Children of Focus know that even though you and your spouse or friend were at odds for awhile, you have worked through it and have healed the relationship. When two people have discussed it, asked for and given forgiveness, and continue to love each other, valuable life lessons are taught in conflict resolution and acceptance. Do you have some examples to use with your child even if you cannot use names? They don’t have to know names.