“Laugh and the World Laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone!”
This quote is from an 19th century poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox called “The Way of the World”:
“Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth
But has trouble enough of its own”
As Ella Wilcox did, so many of us have a difficult time understanding grief and pain and would prefer to have all joy and happiness. Who wouldn’t? The truth is that Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) Since there is pain and trouble, we need comfort in different forms and on several levels. One thing is sure, just as we love because God loved us first, so He is the Lord “of mercy and the God of all comfort.” God is the original and ultimate but not the only comforter. I will explain. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
Comfort Defined
Responding to a hurting person with words, feelings, and touch; to hurt with and for another’s grief or pain. Being emotionally attuned with another’s grief or sorrow.
How is the need for Comfort met?
- Since pain and hurt result from losses leaving us feeling alone in our sorrow, comfort is given when someone comes along to help us know we are not alone.
- Visiting with a grieving person may give comfort-just by our physical presence.
- Speaking kind words or listening to the grieving person’s narrative may comfort
- Doing acts of service to give the person time to focus and mourn sufficiently
- Mourning with the one who is in sorrow – “mourn with those who mourn”7
- Tears of empathy may come to us/through us for their pain
- Spending time with them at their request or with their permission during grief
What if the need for Comfort is met?
- The one grieving does not have to weep alone as Ms. Wilcox wrote.
- The comfort that comes from God’s Spirit may be received and bring peace
- Jesus calls the Holy Spirit the “Comforter” because His real presence in us and with us means we are not ever separated from Him
- Knowing that God is always accessible helps the hurting person to find comfort
- Knowing that caring friends and family are around may be helpful too
- Receiving comfort from God directly or indirectly from Him via others puts me in a position to give comfort to hurting, lonely people
What if the need for Comfort is not met?
It would be sad indeed if a hurting person must hurt alone, but it happens often, I think. Sometimes comfort is not done well, because comforting others is awkwardly done when trying to talk someone out of their grief, give them a timeline to quit hurting, or quote something that makes them feel they should not grieve. People mourn differently and healing doesn’t come according to a prescribed agenda. Some wrongfully turn to substances or artificial means of relief to deal with ongoing sorrow.
There may come a time when the grieving person becomes so lost in their grief, that they need spiritual and emotional help from an equipped counselor/friend.
Jesus made it clear that we are blessed to mourn and find comfort. He will remove our aloneness that came to us from the pain of loss. His Spirit will come and make His presence known to us or bring God’s comfort through another person who also has received His comforting presence. We are not alone, or at least we don’t have to be.
Who in your life needs the comfort of a caring friend? Who in your life needs the comfort God offers by His Holy Spirit’s presence to remove aloneness with intimacy with God?