Proverbs 29:18
Without a vision people perish.
Do you have a plan for your marriage? I bet that is a question you may have never asked yourself. I mean, when you were planning your wedding you had a vision right? You planned every detail, venue, flowers, honeymoon….every part of your wedding was planned. One of you, at least, had thought through each part so that “nothing would go wrong”. No one wants to be embarrassed due to a lack of planning. So, we ask again: What is the plan for your marriage? Live in marital bliss?? Great! How do you plan to live in marital bliss? 🙂 Hmmm…probably something you haven’t thought too much about aside from whether or not to have kids and where to live. (Good visions to discuss by the way!)
As with any special event or occasion, those in charge should sit down and work through the “what’s”, “how’s”, and “when’s” to accomplish a plan. Grab your spouse and let’s work on a vision for your marriage!
Let’s start out with a discussion between you two. Ask one another these questions:
THE WHAT
*What is important to us? (household, kids, vacations, church, etc…)
*What do we want our relationship to look like? (spiritually, friendship, intimacy, sexually, etc…)
*What goals do we want to set for our finances? (retirement, expenses, debt, kids, tithe, spending, etc…)
After you have discussed the “what’s” for your marriage vision, please discuss the HOW’S.
THE HOW
*How will we accomplish what is important to us?
*How will we reach the places in our relationship that we desire?
*How will we meet the financial goals we discussed?
When discussing the “how’s” try to set measurable changes that you both can see and rejoice about as the goal comes closer to being accomplished. For example:
Let’s look at a vision you may have for your relationship. Say you set a goal to become more spiritually connected. You will need to ask, “How will we do that?” An example may be, “Let’s set every Mon. Weds and Friday to do a Bible study together.” Decide on the study. Purchase the study, write the dates on your calendar otherwise it won’t happen.. 😉 You can see measurable changes just by doing those simple steps. A vision was set, we acted (purchased the book) we set aside time. Let’s take it further.
A measurable change you may take note of is how each of you have drawn closer to God and one another after finishing the study. Rejoice over that together! You accomplished a goal! Now set another goal for continued spiritual growth as a couple. Can you see how marriage vision is a lifelong process that can reap tremendous pay off in your relationship?
After the HOW’S have been discussed let’s move on to discuss the when’s.
THE WHEN’S
Setting dates to have your visions accomplished helps you…
- Set aside time to work on what is important – Make a priority
- Build a visual timeline to reach for together
- Remember what you want to accomplish together
So please get out your calendar and start choosing dates to meet your visions for your relationship and financial visions.
Give yourselves a high five!!! Now roll up your sleeves and make it happen, friends!!
Next week we will look at having weekly One on One times together (Dr. Ferguson calls them Marriage Staff Meetings in The Intimate Encounters book) to help in this process of keeping your Marriage Visions alive.