Heads Up – Builders Men’s Ministry may continue 4/26, 5/3, 5/10, 5/17, 5/24, then we stop for the summer! We are checking out the possibilities and will let you know soon.
Just so you know.
We are planning a campout and trip to a baseball game this summer for our men. Details to come.
Builders Men’s Ministry Bible Study
Me Submit? No Way? Yes Way?
Before you go running through the woods screaming with your hair on fire, please wait until you hear me out …or read me out.
I truly believe Adam, then Adam and Eve, had this going well before he chose to try to be his own god rather than submit to the Creator God who gave him life. Submission to God’s leadership, love, and authority was the M.O. But, we have come a long way from those early days, haven’t we?
Scripture for April 19, 2022
So, here is 1 Peter 3:1-7
1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not lieve the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Please understand that I am trying to write about submission to God and how that translates to our attitude and actions toward women. I am not addressing much of the instructions to women about their roles. We as men have a job to do in showing women what submission to God looks like, especially as it relates to our treatment of women. Whether we are married (yet) or not, our submission to God’s way will have a huge impact on our love and respect for the ladies in our life.
Peter writes in the previous two chapters of his letter proclaiming how precious is the salvation we have been offered by the Father through faith and submission to His way to forgiveness. Jesus deserves for us to submit to Him and do whatever He says because He bought forgiveness, salvation, and eternal life with His own blood on the cross. We weren’t purchased/redeemed by silver and gold, because there isn’t enough wealth in the universe to pay for off our sin debt. We owed God an infinite amount because of sin. We had no ability to pay the debt. Jesus’s righteous blood was spilled to cancel the debt we owed. What a painful, ultimate price He paid.
Now that we see how much God can be trusted, submission to those He commands seems a small price to pay. Ephesians 5:21 is the apostle Paul’s way of expressing this truth: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
This Is My Shot At Explaining What Submission Is and Is Not.
· Biblical submission is mutual respect and humble yielding to God’s will over my own.
· It is putting the needs of another above my own for the purpose of submitting to God.
· It is recognizing God’s design for leadership in the home which is delegated ultimately to the husband but includes input and counsel from the wife.
· It is leading as a servant to my family rather than a dictator or ruler over the family. Humility not pride is the quality promoted in submission.
· Submission involves mutual loyalty and voluntary sacrifice for the good of the other.
· Submission has nothing to do with inferiority or superiority of one person in the family, business, or organization. Submission has to do with position in the structure of family or organization not value of the person.
· Submission does not mean living in the fear of abuse – physical, emotional, financial, occupational, or spiritual.
When two people live in Christ-honoring submission to God and to one another, a beautiful, living sculpture is formed for the world to admire and enjoy. That family or organizational sculpture becomes a living work of art showing how Christ submitted to His Father and how love is expressed even during times of conflict and resolution.
Simply put: I submit to God and puts others needs above my own. When two people in a family, friendship, marriage, or business submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, a wonderful relationship develops and shows love – God’s love and the way relationships were meant to be lived in the first place.
Real-Life Example: Organization
Though not perfect, one place where I worked years ago illustrated this concept of mutual submission in a healthy work environment. The manager had an open-door policy so that the 20 or so employees had the freedom to bring any issue to his attention as needed. He met with each employee regularly and built a gender-appropriate relationship with each. For several years the organization grew and effectively served the clients. There were conflicts, of course, but the issues were resolved over time. This manager worked hard to create an environment of mutual submission beginning from his office. He put the needs of his staff above his own where possible. Consequently the staff worked effectively and efficiently most of the time.
Real-Life Example: Marriage
Carol and I have been learning this principle over our whole married life of almost 50 years. Several times – and I mean several times, we have come to junctures where we disagreed as to the next steps, regarding parenting, ministry direction, job selection, moving, or finances, etc. In these ways we are a typical married couple. We learned to express our opinions, listen to the other one’s side, discuss pro’s and con’s, submit the decision to prayer then come back together. When we could not reach the same conclusion, Carol would yield to me to make the final call and “submitting to her husband”, she put the ultimate responsibility on me. That didn’t make me feel superior. It made me realize that I needed to make sure to the best of my discernment, that I was hearing from and following God’s direction. It scared me into submission to God because I didn’t want to be wrong and lead my family in a wrong direction.
Lean In: Can you think of some people in scripture who clearly showed submission to God? What made their submission difficult or was it? (To get started think of Noah – Genesis 5-9, Gideon- Judges 6-8, Jonah – Book of Jonah, Saul -Acts 9) Do you know some men or women who have illustrated submission to God. What is the story? Can you think of others in scripture who submitted to another person based on God’s direction?
Look Down: Which role does Peter spend most of his time talking about submission in this passage? How does Peter instruct men to treat women in marriage? How does that treatment translate to our treatment of women in general? In verse 1 and in verse 7 Peter begins each with the same phrase. What is it? He spoke of submission to Christ in the first two chapters and is apparently not finished. He now makes application to the marriage relationship. In what ways are our attitude toward and treatment of women reflective of our understanding of submission to God’s command to love one another?
Look Out: Where do you see women treated with respect and as equal to men in your experience? Where have you seen women treated unfairly or demeaned or abused? How has our culture progressed in its appropriate attitudes and treatment of women?
What does our culture’s obsession with pornography illustrate about our attitude toward women? How have your workplaces illustrated mutual submission or lack of it? Can you recall a teacher, coach, or boss who worked hard to establish a mutual respect in the class, team, or work place? How does his/her leadership illustrate the idea of “mutual submission”?
Look In: How has your attitude and treatment of women changed over the years? How has your change in attitude toward women impacted your current relationsh8ps? Have you been engaged in a healthy work environment where those in authority valued input from you and other co-workers? Have you had to submit to authority that was difficult to follow? How are conflicts resolved in places where mutual submission was experienced? What happened when conflicts arose in places where mutual submission was not illustrated?
Take It Outside:
How could you help another man or boy learn to submit to authority appropriately? What would you advise a man to do if he worked in a place where those over him were abusive to him or others?
How could you help a man who is in a relationship where mutual submission is not happening? Married? Not married? What does my willingness to submit to God have to do with my ability to build a mutually submissive relationship?
For background read 1 Peter 1 and 2.