Attention: Conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care; taking notice of others and making an effort to enter into their respective worlds. (1 Corinthians 12:25 NASB)
Paying attention means more than just being physically present. It means learning how to listen to your kids, how to talk to them and how to respond to their actions and conversations.
During my growing up years, my mom was a “stay at home mom”, but I have no memory of her entering my world. I played with the kids she babysat and with my brother and sister; but I have no memory of my mom interacting or playing with me. She was in the home, but that didn’t mean she paid attention to me.
Good quality ( attention) time will improve the quality of your family’s life. Be present in your child’s life. Give them memories of you playing, laughing, and talking with them. Give them a memory few recount to us – the memory of a parent who is a good listener.
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Attention
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12)
Walking in the Light: Having a fresh encounter with Jesus.
Jesus paid attention to us and to His Father throughout His Life! Even nailed to a cross suffering indescribable pain, He paid attention to the robber and reassured him(Luke 23:39-43). He paid attention to his mom and made sure she would be taken care of. ( John 19:25-27) He even paid attention to the needs of those who were cruelly killing Him as He passed from this earth. He prayed, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34). Search the Bible to see how much Jesus paid attention. He still does.
Do you believe He still does?. Do you think He ever stopped? My dear friends, He hasn’t! Get quiet, sit still, talk to Him, listen to Him, and let Him calm your fears, sickness, hurts and grief just as He did when He was on earth. He makes His Holy Spirit available in our world.
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a lamp and a light, so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105
Let’s do:
1 Corinthians 11:1
Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.
Paul was saying, “Look at me, follow my example.” He wasn’t saying this to brag.
Would you feel comfortable saying to your kids, “Let me be your example on how to live?” I have a bit of news…you already are their example, good – bad – or otherwise – they will follow how you lead them.
That can be scary, huh? It doesn’t have to be though. We will never be perfect, but we can always strive to love better, to be a better example for our children and for others.
How? Deepen your relationship with God daily. Deepen your relationship with your spouse.(You want your kids to see what a godly dad/mom, husband/wife looks like) Deepen your relationship and pay attention to your kids. Be in their world!
Light Source #3: God’s people are sources of light so walk in real fellowship with Your Children: “the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14
We are not saying to make life all about your kids, but we are suggesting to be intentional about paying attention to your child’s needs, concerns, fears, hurts and things they enjoy. Know their world as deeply, clearly as possible.
A great way to do this is at bedtime or other time that fits into their world. Find a time to pay undivided attention to your child. Is it quiet? Get still – not distracted. Find a great time to talk, listen, and pray with and for them.
Ask them how their day was. You may ask them to tell you one thing that made them happy today, then be happy with and for them! Saying, “I am so glad you told me that! I can see why that made you happy!” Then give them a hug. Also, you might ask them to tell you something that might have made them sad, fearful or afraid today. Then give them a hug or hold their hand and tell them how sad that makes you feel that they felt that way. (Don’t try and give advice here. Just feel empathy for them)
This time is not just for our young ones. Our teens will benefit tremendously from this “pay attention” time with mom/dad. We may have to vary our responses to be age-appropriate, but they need us to enter their worlds too.
Let’s do this and see the blessing of God come even more personally on us and our children – regardless of their ages.