Support
Come alongside others to provide gentle, appropriate assistance with a problem or struggle.
Galatians 6:2 (NIV) Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Jesus was with his disciples through celebration and challenging times and left His Spirit for them and us. See John 14:18
A Worthy Goal: (a little “Truth in Love” from TBI)
Don’t stop investing wisely into your marriage and family until your children and friends envy your relationship and want what you have…. “faith expressing itself in love” – Galatians 5:6.
How does it feel when someone notices the “work-load” you are under or a struggle with which you are wrestling then helps “lighten your load”? Perhaps someone offers to help, does some of the work for you, or simply hears you out as you try to process all of the issues spinning around inside your head.
When that happens, we feel supported and loved, don’t we? What words and ways do we use to communicate Support to those we love? We have some ideas for you to consider and would love for you to take a few minutes this week to discuss Support with your spouse.
Much (not all) of the Support we need can be communicated with few or even no words. Maybe we could become a Word-less Wonder this week and “Just Do It”!
Be intentional about setting aside a few minutes this week or planning a date night to discuss Support together.
Husband, would you lead this time by reviewing the statements to be completed or questions being asked so that you know how to make the most of your time? When you are ready, please initiate a “LOVE (Speak)” time with your wife.
As you use this tool – the 52-Week Plan – be sure to make a significant portion of the Marriage Staff Meetings fun and lighten things up a bit. Having fun together is one reason we offer this tool for your communication and intimacy.
LOVE SPEAK… Light Source #1: Fresh Encounters with Jesus Christ
In Jesus’ time on earth He developed a loving relationship with His disciples and spent approximately 3 years doing so. And though He knew that He would have to leave them and return to the Father in heaven, Jesus made sure they heard from Him (even if they did not understand His full meaning) the words, “I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.” – John 14:18. In a similar fashion, Jesus from the cross spoke words to John and to His mother Mary, “Woman, behold your son.” Then to John Jesus said, “Behold your mother.”
This same Jesus who supported and made provision for His mother and disciples is the “same yesterday, today, and forever”. Will this Jesus support you? Yes, He will. I am sure that neither Mary the mother of Jesus nor the disciples of Jesus expected to be cared for in the ways Jesus provided. My guess is that they had other things in mind.
Perhaps the disciples thought Jesus would establish a kingdom and rule with Him on earth. Perhaps Mary thought she would have Jesus around for much longer than 33 years. Jesus may provide for you and me in ways dissimilar to our expectations, but He promised to “never leave us or forsake us”.
Would you bring your current burdens and worries to Jesus in a time of prayer and meditation? Picture Jesus sitting in front of you in a chair. In your mind and heart see Him reaching over to you clasping your hands in His, while you pour out your struggle to the One who loves you more than you can imagine. Take His caring expressions into your emotions and feel His strength building in you. Let Him know you are aware and grateful that He cares for you and that you can “cast your cares on Him”.
Perhaps this kind of fresh encounter with Jesus would be the beginning of many such personal times of unloading the weight from your shoulders to His. As we walk in His light we escape the clutches of the darkness that pursues us.
Light Source #2: Frequent Experiences in the Word (Do The Book)
Let’s Do: Galatians 6:2 – Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.
1. Would you think for a moment or more about some of the heavy weights you carry now or have carried recently? a. …too much to do b. …too many details to remember c. …seemingly too many people on your contacts list d. …heavy personal problems that weigh you down e. …problems that seem to have no solutions?
2 . Would you think for a moment or more about how (in what ways) you enjoy having others come alongside you to help you carry the heavy weights of … a. …too much to do b. …too many details to remember c. …seemingly too many people on your contacts list d. …heavy personal problems that weigh you down e. …problems that seem to have no solutions?
3. After spending a few minutes in the Light Source #1 – Fresh Encounters with a Supportive Savior, would you experience and describe the reality of a Savior Who remains accessible to you and me because His Spirit lives inside us as our “guarantor” of the secure hope we have because we belong to God?
4. I wish it were true that there will always be other people in our families and communities who give us the support we need. You and I know that at times we feel pretty much alone. This is not a cop-out. This is the truth. You and I can run to Jesus and let Him know where we need His support and care. He will bring it-but as with the disciples and Mary, He will do it His way because He is God and is “working all things together for our good”. What is the greatest good God can accomplish in your life and in mine? Romans 8:31-32
5. In preparation for Light Source #3, would you answer these first 4 questions then be prepared to not only share your answers but also listen intently to your spouse’s struggles and cares? Ask God to listen to your spouse with the same focus and interest with which He listens to you. Be ready to be amazed by the feelings generated by God’s love as you really hear your spouse and as you speak “the truth in love” to your spouse about the cares you carry and the support you need. In other words, this exercise – all of it – is to help each of us…freely receive the supportive presence and power of Jesus and then give it away to spouse, children, other family, friends, enemies, etc.
Light Source #3: Others – Have Real Fellowship with Your Spouse
Please discuss the answers to the 5 questions above during your Marriage Staff Meeting and enjoy having real fellowship and deepening friendship with your spouse:
Oh, yeah, one final note: Did you notice that as you “carry (ied) one another’s burdens” that you “fulfilled the law of Christ”? Do you know the most important part of the “law of Christ”? John 13:34-35 or Matthew 22: 37-39 will make it clear. By God’s grace – we can do it better and better and remove the aloneness of our spouse, children, and others by coming alongside to help them carry a load. Bless you for praying and giving. Be ready to receive God’s support directly as well as through appropriate others. All the care is His and it is wonderful to share the care.
What About the Kids? They have “needs” too!
You can use these questions/suggestions with your own children or another Child of Focus – if you don’t have children of your own. Remember that your children or Children of Focus are never too old to have relational needs met.
1. What are your children experiencing currently that may be somewhat or very overwhelming for them? How could you support them in their times of high stress?
2. What part might being a good listener or praying with them play in being supportive of your children/Child of Focus?