Sympathy: Identifying with another emotionally.
(1 Peter 3:8)
Can you recall a situation when someone expressed sorrow over a struggle in your life or a time when you wanted care but didn’t get it? I have been told that you could approach almost anyone on the street and say, “I am so sad that you are going through this difficulty”, and many people would say, “How did you know?”. I’m not sure if this is true, but I do know this: many people are facing challenges in life and need a listening ear, an understanding heart, and comfort in their struggle.
I (Dave) am privileged to hear the stories of many people, and too many of them include pain from their past. Often something radically amazing emerges. Many of these incredible people have not succumbed to their sorrow but have overcome it. One such man told me recently that “he now is much more understanding of others” after having gone through struggles of his own. He by God’s grace got better, but others got bitter.
We have this golden opportunity to meet people and perhaps discover their struggles. In the discovery our response is so very important. The bitter person may ignore their pain and change the topic quickly. The bitter person may only give them advice or a referral to their hurting friend. But those who have grown through their pain may very well ask the Holy Spirit to use them in the friend’s life to offer sympathy for the friend’s pain. Perhaps God, the Holy Spirit, would give us the gift of feeling some of the pain the friend is experiencing and actually empathize with them.
It seems to me that the distance between sympathy and empathy is about 18”. That’s the approximate distance between the head and the heart. Sympathy is a gift that lets the person in pain know we care, but empathy hits the targets of the heart – your heart and the heart of the person in pain. One says “I care” and the other says “I care and feel some of what you are feeling”. Both are good. Empathy comes much closer to what the Apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 4:15 – “…mourn with those who mourn.” In feeling what others feel, we are gifted with the resource of Jesus’ loving heart to meet our grieving friends at the point of their need. They are, at least for a while, not alone in their grief and pain, and you and I are the ones God used to reveal His love to a grieving friend.
- Jesus is the Light: Did Jesus show empathy for others? Matthew 9:36 reveals the heart of our Savior who was “a man of sorrows acquainted with grief”. Does Jesus have compassion for people in the first century only? He knows what it is like to suffer, doesn’t He? Avail yourself of the friendship and comfort He offers. Why suffer alone any longer?
- God’s Word is a Lamp and Light: Let’s do Galatians 6:2 and “carry one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ”. Would you take a few moments at school, work, or home to recognize the sorrow or loneliness in another’s words, face, body language? Would you say something like, “You seem to be struggling with something. May I pray with you about that? Is there anything you want to let me help you carry?” You may not be as assertive, but you could recognize sorrow in others and pray for that person right then and there – quietly, privately.
- You (Mr. or Ms. Disciple of Jesus) are the Light of the Word: Compassion and care are not always negatively focused. What if you see another person really excited about an accomplishment, reward, achievement, or promotion? Would it be compassionate of you to ignore the celebration? What if you celebrated with your friend, co-worker, spouse, child? I think doing Ephesians 4:15 involves both the “mourning with those who mourn” AND the “rejoicing with those who rejoice”. Right? Discuss with a friend ways you have rejoiced or mourned with others recently.