RESPECT Valuing one another highly, treating one another as important, and honoring one another with our words and actions. (Romans 12:10, 1 Peter 2:17)
Meeting The Need for Respect in a Child
One of my top needs is Respect. The first time I took the assessment on The Top Ten Needs, (On page 278-279 in The Intimate Encounters Book), I was surprised that one of my needs was the need for respect. I don’t know, I always thought the need for respect was a guy thing, until I re-read the definition for respect. To be valued highly, to be treated as important, to be honored with words and action. It dawned on me why I have this need.
As a child, I did not have my need for respect met. I didn’t know it as a child, but when I read the definition it hit me clear as day. What child wouldn’t have this need to be respected? If this need wasn’t met in my growing years, it made sense that I was “needy” of it now.
I think we all need to be respected, of course, but can you see the importance of it in a child? Have you seen the movie, The Help ? In the movie the maid, Aibilene, tells the child she cares for this all of the time, especially when the child is hurting, “You is kind, You is smart, You is important.” She has the little girl repeat it to her after she tells her. Of all the things Abililene taught the child she wanted her to know this the most.
What we say and do to our children or child of focus has a profound affect on the way they view themselves, others, and even God. How can you show your children/child of focus that you value them, that they are important to you? How can you show honor to them by your words and actions? Let’s take a look!
Walk in the Light of Jesus
Would you consider how you personally need respect? How would you like for respect to be shown to you? Some examples may be: Someone you love taking the time to let you know by their words that you mean so much to them. Maybe someone listens to what you have to say and values the importance of what it means to you or just spends some time with you doing something you love… just because. Doesn’t this speak, “I value and honor you?” Now, suppose you do those things I have listed and what you have come up with personally, with your children/child of focus? Can you see what it might do in their heart?
What about Jesus? Matthew 19:14 (ESV)
14: but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”
Jesus flat out loves children! He welcomed them with open arms! When others tried to “shoo them away” he stopped them and welcomed them over. I picture in my mind Jesus just laughing and playing with those kids! I wonder if Jesus even rolled around in the dirt and tickled them! Whatever His actions were, they communicated to the children, “YOU are important and I value you!”
You want to know something? You are His child and He wants nothing more than to communicate that He values you….maybe even to laugh and giggle with you! He wants you to know that you have the freedom always to come to Him. He respects you, my friends, deeply.
Walk in the Light of God’s Word – Do the Book
Psalm 127:3 Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
James 1:17 17: Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens.
If God calls children a gift and He considers gifts coming down from heaven good and perfect, doesn’t that mean we should value our children highly? If the Lord Jesus would take time in a crowd to allow the children to come to Him, shouldn’t we make time for them as well?
I know life can be busy, but they are young for such a short time. Would you take some special time to show your children or child of focus just how much you value them? Wouldn’t it be fun to ask them what they consider a fun time and then go do it with them? Maybe you could make a picnic lunch and go to the park or zoo and spend time just laughing and talking with them as you eat lunch. Create MANY special memories with them so they will never forget when they are older that you valued/respected them highly. You have the opportunity to make a difference in the life of your child/child of focus by simple acts of quality time with them. When you listen well to their stories, concerns, and questions, you are showing that you respect and value them. Amazing!
Walk in the Light of Real Fellowship
Won’t you take some time this week to enter your child’s world and walk in true fellowship with them? The joy that will fill your child’s heart knowing mommy and daddy love them so deeply will be well worth the investment . You know, you can even enter your grown child’s world? Maybe you spent much of their growing years making a living and you didn’t take the time you now wish you had taken. There is nothing wrong with entering your grown child’s world now. Maybe you need to ask for forgiveness first.
Have you ever said you were sorry to your child, grown or little? Turn the table a bit. What if your parent came to you now and asked for forgiveness for not showing you respect or value when you were little? Would you reject it or would you accept it?
Your child, though little, has all the needs that you do, but they perhaps don’t understand how to explain it…yet. The verse, “Love thy neighbor as thy self” (Mark 12:31) applies to your child. Respect them as you would want to be respected. Walk in TRUE fellowship or freedom with your child, they need it! They need you! In fact, you need it too!