Approval and the Church Caring for the Household of Faith (GC2 Concentric Circle diagram @ end of email- note circle 4)
Approval (Blessing) – Building up or affirming another person, particularly for who they are (as opposed to what they do); affirming both the fact and the importance of our relationship with another person. (Ephesians 4:29; Mark 1:11)
You don’t have to consider this eaves dropping-well, I guess it sorta’ is-, but next time you attend a church event focus on the conversations and exchanges around you. Listen for words of Approval. Here’s what I mean. Listen for words such as, “Hey, I saw the way you spoke so kindly to that guy”, or “Man, you handled that situation so well, you are really good at settling conflict”, or “Girl, you are so patient with your little brother”.
OK, you can stop laughing at me.
What kind of conversations and exchanges do we hear more often? (humor, sarcasm, sports talk, media talk, politics, spiritual conversations, ???)
I know those types of Approving conversations aren’t typical…maybe, but that doesn’t mean they should be rare. In fact, we could do a better job of showing the love of God if we actually noticed good character in others and said something about it…to the person. Am I right?
Can you recall a time when a person said something about you that indicated that he/she recognized your value, the importance of your relationship, or perhaps you overheard someone telling another person something really good about you!
When I was a child perhaps around 10 or 11 years old, my neighbor Pauline called me over to her front yard to “tell me something”. I had no idea what she was going to say. I probably thought I was in trouble, but I was dead wrong. She said, “My niece told me something about you.” That made me even more convinced that I was probably in trouble! Pauline said, “My niece told me that you have the best personality of just about anyone she’s ever met.” I don’t think I knew what “personality” was, but whatever it was, it must be something good, because Pauline was positive and smiling. I felt great. Somebody noticed something about me worth mentioning.
Though I did not know what to call the way I felt then, I do now. I felt approved, valued,… I felt really good. What if you and I made it a point to love others the way Jesus did and does? What if we approved other Christ-followers for good character we notice? What if we say how important these other Christ-followers are to us and how glad we are to be friends?
WALKING IN THE LIGHT IS THE KEY! Lord Jesus made it clear: “…Walk in the light while you can, so the darkness will not overtake you.” (John 12:35) John spoke, “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.” (I John 1:7)
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Practice Approval inside the Church Family Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:32) Walking in the Light: Experiencing God’s Love and Giving It Away (Approval)
I am thinking of someone in scripture. See if you can guess who it is.
Character Qualities:
- Good Conversationalist…maybe a little too verbal at times but pretty vulnerable.
- Courageous
- Insightful
- Leader
He is a New Testament figure and was close to Jesus.
I am thinking of Peter (Simon). Did you guess correctly?
Now read this passage and see if Jesus Approved Peter. Matthew 16:17 Notice Jesus did not say Peter was perfect or that he never had to be corrected or confronted. Jesus saw Peter becoming a man of faith. One who listened to God. The Father revealed the truth to Peter, and Peter listened, then he spoke the truth. He showed courage to speak that revealed truth aloud. Remember another time when he walked on the water…for a short time, but he did it. That shows faith and courage!
You and I are not perfect either, though we may have been a Christ-follower for years. But I promise you, that God is conforming you to the image of His Son. In Romans 8:29, He said that is His goal for us. You are becoming a man or woman of even greater value, and your relationship with Jesus is important to Him and to others. In fact, your relationship and the growth of intimacy with God are more valuable to the world, to the church, to your family, than you could ever imagine.
This might be a tough exercise, but would you ask God what He sees in you as character worth commending? I’m serous. You may not be able to hear His voice. If that is true, please ask someone who knows you pretty well. This is not an exercise to give you a “swelled head” of pride, but I want you to think about it a minute. You have some great character traits. Maybe others have never told you, but I believe your Father God will if you ask. He may communicate to you through another Christ-follower in your family or in your church family.
Really! How are you changing? How are you being conformed into a man or woman of God? What kind of person were you before? How are you different? You are more like God’s Son than ever. Romans 8:29 is very clear.
Please get quiet and alone some place. Close your eyes or open them to the sky and ask Abba, “What do you see in me that is good and worth mentioning?” (Wait a minute: I am not asking you to ask God if you are good enough to allow into heaven or worthy of being a Christ-follower. None of us is worthy. Becoming a Christ-follower and a member of His forever family of forgiven followers is “by grace through faith”.)
Listen to His still small voice say to you something like this: “You are a hard worker. I see value in how diligent you are, how honest you are, how kind, how joyful, how encouraging, how well you listen to people, how well you can communicate the truth to others, how sacrificial, how frugal, how cautious, how determined you are, how enthusiastic you are, how others-oriented you are, how real, how vulnerable, how inquisitive, how you serve others, how generous, creative, visionary, full of faith, how hopeful, at peace, content, loving, merciful, how you try to lift up the underdog, …. (If you have an Intimate Encounters workbook see pages 266 to 268.) (Don’t have one? See our RESOURCE section!)
Listen to Abba Approve of you, He loves you, He wants you with Him forever, He wants to use you and your character attributes to love and communicate Approval to others. Maybe you can be His mouthpiece to share the importance and value of others in the family of faith.
Suggestion 1: If you don’t know what God is saying yet, please find a friend, trusted family member, and ask them to help you identify qualities and good character…not perfection…not even close to perfection…but let them help you see what God sees.
Suggestion 2: If you don’t like what you see, ask for help. Seriously. Some of us came to Christ but never got any help on how to grow up. Or maybe other folks tried but you refused their help. Maybe now is the time to get someone to help you learn to pray, to deeply take the Word of God inside and personalize it, to help you deal with some past junk so you can be free to move higher and farther with Jesus.
If you don’t know whom to ask, let us know and perhaps we can help you find someone. We will try!
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a “Lamp and Light” (Psalm 119:105) Walking in the Light: Experiencing God’s Love and Giving It Away (Approval)
Let’s Do the Book: 2 Timothy 2:15 Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth.
Question: Regardless of the Approval you heard from God or others, would you identify some areas on which you’d like to focus? In 2 Timothy 2:15 the Apostle Paul told his younger pastor friend, to work hard to present himself to God. He is making a great point. Paul knew how important it was for Timothy to know, to do, to teach, and to live the Word of God so others could “see the good works” and glorify God – let others see the power and love of God clearly. Paul wanted others…then and now…to have plenty of people around to illustrate for the folks in the church and outside it to see what kind of godly character is produced in those who follow Christ.
Would you make a list of some things you want to see developed in your character? See the list above in the Introduction and add to it others that you see and appreciate and want it to be true of you.
Homework/Do the Book: I want you to study the life of Jesus either from your memory of scripture or take the time to read several chapters in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and/or John. Make a list of what you admire most about Jesus. Then choose which of those qualities you want to ask God to develop in you. (choose a few)
When you finish this assignment, be ready to share it with your spouse, another friend, or your son/daughter. Ask them to pray this for you and with you. I know this is a bold step, but you are leading by example. As you do this exercise you are illustrating the character qualities of boldness, courage, vulnerability, humility, seriousness about your life counting for all God wants of you while on the planet….
Last thing: Now think of these three things and make a decision:
1. (for others) Identify some people whom you can Approve in your church family? Do you see admirable qualities in your pastor, pastor’s spouse, some other leaders, friends, students/teens, senior citizens, ….etc? Are you grateful for your relationship with any or all of these people? I will ask you to act on this list a little later in this installment of 52WP.
2. (for you) Do you need help with your next steps of growth into the image of Jesus? Pray and ask God for him to bring someone along. He will.
3. Pray this passage of scripture: I John 5:14-15
a. Do you think God wants you to be more conformed to the image of Jesus than you are currently? Obvious Answer : YES – Read Romans 8:29 again.
b. You can Do the Book by praying: “Father, would you help me be conformed even more to the image of Your Son? (Maybe you could ask God specifically to make you more loving, more patient, more diligent, more courageous, less fearful, less volatile, more joyful.. you get the idea.)
c. Ask Abba for help from Holy Spirit directly and from a fellow Christ-follower from your local congregation, someone in another state (Skype works well), or from your pastor.
Light Source #3: Followers of Jesus are called the “Light of the World” (Matt 5:14) Walking in the Light: Experiencing God’s Love and Giving It Away (Approval) With your spouse or (if single- with a trusted friend)
1. Take time for a date with your spouse to discuss your findings from Light Sources #1 and #2.
2. If your children are old enough, discuss it with them too. I am not asking you to teach, I am asking you to be appropriately vulnerable with your children/child of focus.
(It may sound like this: “Paul, I have realized that I am not nearly as kind with my words as God wants me to be. In prayer recently, this was revealed to me. I am asking you to forgive me for using harsh words and some inappropriate language. Would you forgive me? Would you pray for me and with me that I would submit my words to God so He can continue to conform my life to Jesus’ life in using my words to build others up not tear them down?”)
3. After identifying people in the church family who have qualities that you have noticed and that need to be noted, approach them at church or if you see them in a store or in the neighborhood. Say, “Hey, ______________, I have been meaning to tell you that you are a great example of a man (woman) who truly cares for his family (or whatever quality you have noticed)” “I just wanted to tell you that I am proud to know you, glad we are friends, happy you are my pastor, want to get to know you even better, your leadership at church truly important, or you are a blessing to me..”
How important would it be to help other followers of Jesus know that their character is worthy of recognition? They aren’t developing character to be recognized, but Jesus communicated Approval to others, and we should too!
Maybe they could feel like a blessing from God to others….for the first time?!