Acceptance Receiving others willingly and unconditionally (even when their behavior has been imperfect) and loving them in spite of any differences that may exist between you. (Romans 15:7)
Meeting The Need for Acceptance in your Spouse
We hope you have enjoyed our “SPECIAL” series of the 52 Week Plan. We will begin our studies of The Relational Needs again beginning with ACCEPTANCE. We will do the “CHERISH” series in the near future.
If you notice, most of our 52 week plans are broken down into three “Sources of Light” sections. We wanted to give a deeper explanation of what that means from scripture so you may have a better understanding as you see these throughout our 52 Week Plans.
Three Sources of Light …revealed through the Scripture- Simply put, when you are walking or running or driving in a dark place, each of us needs light to safely see the appropriate way forward.
Jesus made it clear to us-“If you walk in the light, the darkness will not overtake you.” John 12:35 God reveals three sources of His light that help show us the way and keep us from being overtaken by darkness: 1. Jesus is the light so walk in the light of fresh encounters with the authentic Jesus. John 8:12 2. Gods Word is a lamp and a light so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105 3. God’s people are sources of light so walk in real fellowship with Jesus’ disciples: “the light of the world”. Matthew 5:14
The only way darkness overtakes believers is if we stop walking in the light. —————————————————————————————————————————–
Have you ever had a rough day or maybe even a rough week and your mood was not always the best, yet your spouse did not “give you” what you thought you might deserve? Instead, their response was kind and loving when easily they could have snapped back at you. They asked you what they could do to make things a little easier. They were gracious and gave you a little extra care and attention. That, my friends, is acceptance in action!
Let’s Walk in the Light of Jesus – He is the Light of the World (John 8:12)
Walking in the Light of Jesus means we not only follow His commands in scripture and seek to “be” this light to others but also encounter Him in times of prayer or meditation deepening our understanding of His love, His character, and His attitude toward us. We do this by having our own “Fresh Encounters” with Jesus, meaning we spend time with Him and experience His presence in our lives.
For example, please think of a few of the people Jesus encountered during His time here on earth or even after He was resurrected and ascended. You can take one or more of those who came to your mind through this same type of meditation, but let’s consider Saul, who later became known as Paul. Did he fit the definition of someone hard to accept – someone who needed acceptance?
Christians had a hard time accepting Paul even after his conversion and the first few years of his discipleship. Do you remember who accepted him before others gave him the benefit of the doubt? Here is the man’s name scrambled: anasbrab Still can’t guess, look at Acts 9:26-27
Saul was accepted by one man, that we know of; introduced to the other disciples on the credentials of this one man. Saul went on to become Paul, perhaps the most effective disciple and disciple-maker of the early church. Now, consider Jesus’ meeting with Saul on the road to Damascus (Acts 22:6-10). What made Saul difficult to accept for the early church and even to Jesus Himself – at least the way we would see things? How vital it was in Saul/Paul to be accepted by Jesus and by others even though he had been a persecutor of the church – a violent and volatile man who had done so much against Jesus and the Church.
Does Jesus accept you too? Do you deserve to be accepted? Acceptance has little to do with whether our behavior makes us acceptable. It has everything to do with love and grace that give others a chance even when they don’t deserve it. I know that Paul didn’t live a care-free life after this, but he did live an abundant life though accompanied by trials.
Does Jesus accept only men named Saul who lived in the first centure and persecuted the church? Or might He also accept you, and me, and your spouse, and your kids? Would you close your eyes and be still a few moments as you ask Jesus how He feels about you? Would you ponder the question about God’s acceptance of Paul even before Paul’s behavior was cleaned up? What difference has Jesus’ acceptance of you made in your life so far? Would you tell Him what His acceptance means to you? See what a difference walking in the light of fresh encounters with Jesus can make?
Let’s do the Book!- Walking in the Light of God’s Word
Doing what God’s Word says!
In the scripture above Romans 15:7 we are commanded to accept one another as Christ accepts us.
Would you please read Psalm 139 before continuing to the next paragraph?
As you can see from Psalm 139 God pretty much knows you inside and out. When He commands us to accept one another as He accepts us, He really knows the “true” us. Others can have a perception of what the “true” us is like, but our Heavenly Father is really the only one Who knows completely. With that said, since you know your own thoughts, aren’t you grateful that God fully accepts you, good and bad? Shouldn’t we then extend that same grace to our spouse and accept him/her, good and bad?
We all, at some point in our lives, might think or act in a way that we would deserve to be unaccepted by God, after all we are sinners, but the beautiful Love of the Savior accepts us for exactly who we are, at all times. We don’t have to think or act perfect, He knows we are weak, (Psalm 103:14(NLT)14 For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.) yet He chooses to accept us as perfect out of His great love for us. Shouldn’t we then love our spouse and accept them in the same way?
We are all perfectly imperfect humans desiring to be accepted for who we are. Through Christ we are seen without blemish to our Heavenly Father. Let us follow this command to accept as He accepts and remember our own frailties as we grow in acceptance of our spouse.
Let’s Walk in the Light of Real Fellowship with Our Spouse
Have you ever felt the way the song states? Can you love and accept your spouse in this way? God does. How freeing it would be in your marriage to “know” your spouse fully accepts you just as you are?
Maybe you haven’t done a good job of accepting your spouse or maybe you don’t always feel acceptance, would you share those feelings with your spouse? Would you be mindful of accepting your spouse as you go through the week?
Couples sometimes feel there is no hope in having a great marriage, instead they settle for OK. Do you know that by living out the scriptures with your spouse a great marriage is obtainable? Do you really believe it?
We here at TBI are here for you. Let us know if you need further discussion on this. We would be honored to speak and pray with/for you.
PS: We hope you realize that accepting a spouse for “who they are” does not mean we are not allowed to “speak the truth in love” even when situations must be discussed. Only Holy Spirit can give us the love, the grace, and the patience to fully accept another person but also to have hard conversations at times.
For example, I can accept a spouse who has a severe drinking problem as a person loved by God and as a valuable person, but that does not mean I close my eyes to the need for help, for loving confrontation, or for attempts to steer him/her toward a better future.
Another example: consider a child who is failing in school. I can accept that he/she may not be an A student and let him/her know how much they are loved and valued, but I may still need to help them, to get a tutor, to speak with their teacher about ways to help, to have the student tested for something physiological that may be causing a learning disabilty.
So accepting another person is having a positive, favorable response to communicate that persons value and worth but it doesn’t mean ignoring issues that may eventually be detrimental to the person or to key relationships.
Want to see where Acceptance is emphasized in the scripture:
Check these verses – What does scripture say about Acceptance?
God’s Acceptance of You: 1 Timothy 1:15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners-of whom I am the worst Christ not only sees our best but He sees our worst, yet still accepts us.
Colossians 1:21-22 Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation You are WELCOMED into His presence and called HOLY!
Ephesians 1:3-6 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will – to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.” You are not just accepted….YOU are cherished!
Our acceptance for other’s: (our spouse in today’s focus) Romans 15:7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Ephesians 4:2-3 “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
Romans 15:7 “Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.”
Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”