Chapter 1: Assess Your Marriage Intimacy

Chapter Summary

  • Important to Assess – examples: annual physical, business metrics, sports tryouts
  • We are not just physical creatures, three dimensional life (Spiritual, Emotional, Physical) – Physical includes sex as well as meeting physical needs, work, etc
  • Which dimensions do we do well?  How can we improve?
  • Why are some dimensions easier for us than others?  What have we seen most?
  • Healthy marriages are built on the foundation of individuals who know how to love well in each dimension of relationships.
  • How are you doing?  Can you improve? (Yes)  Will you ever be perfect? (No)
  • If your spouse knew you wanted to learn ways to remove aloneness, what difference would that make in your commitment to one another?


Small Group Questions

  1. Would you tell us how you met your spouse? (Small Group Facilitator:  Careful to not let this take the entire Small Group Time)
  2. What new thought or insight did you discover about your marriage or yourself after completing chapter 1?
  3. Why is it more difficult for some people to develop soul / friendship and spiritual / fellowship than the physical / sexual dimension?
  4. How has your spouse met one of your needs in the past week (physical, friendship, or spiritual)?
  5. What are some ideas you have about how to increase intimacy in 1 of the 3 dimensions?
  6. What was one positive impression you had after your first Marriage Staff Meeting?
  7. Have you completed the introductory pages xiii and xiv and discussed them as a couple?
  8. Why do you feel those pages are important for the study you are beginning?
  9. What are some of the emotions you felt in the weeks prior to this discussion relative to this study and your participation?  It is OK to be honest; in fact, it is greatly encouraged.