What Do We Really Need from Each Other?
- No spouse can meet every need perfectly all the time, but we can make progress
- Each of us can discover our spouse’s priority needs and how to meet that need
- We can learn to communicate maximum intimacy and dispel some aloneness
- As in “Personal Goals on page xiv, having an answer for your “deepest desire for your marriage and expressing it to your spouse, builds hope for the future
- Knowing our spouse’s top 3 of the 10 is important
- Knowing how our spouse hopes those needs will be met is more important
- Just knowing the name of our spouses needs may not be enough
- It is not selfish to tell your spouse what you need and how you would like to have that need met any more than sharing your favorite meal, vacation, or gift
- Demanding that your spouse meet the need as you described it is wrong
- Trusting God to meet your needs His way and in His time is faith
- If want to use scripture memory: John 13: 34 – 35
- You meet one another’s physical needs: shelter, clothing, food, house, etc;
- God wants to use each of you to meet emotional and spiritual needs too
Small Group Questions
- Would you tell the story of your engagement? (Small Group Facilitator – be aware of the time)
- Did you realize before this study that you have the Ten Relational Needs (see page 12)?
- Do you ever outgrow these needs?
- What feeling do you have when you think of having these needs? (i.e., Weakness? OK with it? Selfishness? Vulnerability? Relieved?)
- What would you consider to be a healthy attitude about being “needy?
- How similar were your needs compared to your partner’s?
- How well did you know your partner’s Relational Needs?
- Were you able to meet any of your partner’s needs this week?
- How did meeting your partner’s needs make you feel?
- Did you experience receiving from your partner in the area of your needs?
- How did that feel?
- How could we help each other identify needs?
- In what other relationships might recognizing needs be helpful?
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